


I've Been Waiting For This

by avagueidea, KingBeluga



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Belligerent Sexual Tension, M/M, Pining, Shinji's POV, meticulously canon compliant, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 15:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 28,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4711208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avagueidea/pseuds/avagueidea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingBeluga/pseuds/KingBeluga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinji returns to SEES, and things are different in ways he wasn't quite expecting. Things like jokes about cuddling that might not actually be jokes. Things like casual touching that might not be an accident. Things like whatever it is that Shinji is feeling that he is absolutely not prepared for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dark Hour Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 2nd, Dark Hour

 

     “Fuck…” Shinji grumbles, rolling over to bury his face in his pillow. There’s no mistaking the chill that runs up his spine. The air feels just a little more still, the silence smothering, and the darkness overwhelming. Even though it happens every god damn night, his skin still prickles uncomfortably when the dark hour descends, filling him with a sensation of dread. Not that he’d ever admit as much. 

     His bed feels exactly the same as it used to. It’s almost like the past few months never even happened—like the events that led to his departure from SEES were nothing more than a bad dream. He knows better than that, of course. The goosebumps alone are enough to remind him of the truth. Shinji rolls over again and sighs gruffly in defeat. Maybe coming back was a mistake after all. Nothing good could possibly come out of staying here, but leaving seems like an even worse option. He rubs his eyes, even though he knows it won’t get rid of the dark spots in his vision or the weight on his chest.There’s no way he is going to be able to lay still, let alone fall asleep now. Possibly ever. He gets up and makes his way to the roof, because at least it will be less depressing than lying in the dark and staring at the ceiling for an hour. Again.

     The air outside is brisk, but it’s a real kind of cold, which is comforting in its own way. He shivers slightly as the cold night air wraps around him. If only the chill creeping over his skin could be enough to wake him from this never-ending nightmare. He pushes the thought aside, glancing up at the gloomy sky. The moon looms ominously, nearly full—a reminder of the ordeal that lies ahead of them. A heavy shroud of nauseatingly green clouds cast their eerie glow on everything in sight. Even so, the stars are still faintly visible, shining the same as ever.

     Shinji starts when he catches sight of a faint silhouette. Every muscle in his body tenses for a moment, ready for a fight. Between the dark hour and his poor social habits, well, it’s no wonder he’s so on edge.

     “Aki,” he breathes, his body relaxing as he pretends he hadn't just been startled. “What are you doin’ up here?” 

     “Couldn’t sleep,” Akihiko replies wearily, “You?” He's leaning against the wall, the dim light catching on his hair looking almost ethereal. Shinji just shrugs in response. Akihiko’s eyes drift back up to the stars, and Shinji wonders if he finds the same kind of comfort in them. The swirling, abyssal sky looks like it might just swallow him up.

     “Are you worried?” Akihiko asks, as his eyes finally turn down to look at him.

     “Speak for yourself,” Shinji retorts, prickly demeanor covering for his ego quickly.

     “You’d think I’d be used to it by now,” Akihiko says in a soft, half-whisper, his eyes flitting back up to the sky, “but it’s just so unsettling. I feel so anxious not doing anything. If I’m fighting, that’s a different story. But I can’t even close my eyes like this, my skin is crawling so much.” He shudders a bit with that statement.

     “What, do you need someone to hold you while you sleep so you don’t get nightmares?” Shinji teases.

     “Yeah, maybe I do,” Akihiko replies absently, gaze descending from the stars and once again fixing on Shinji. His eyes are half-lidded, and the dark circles underneath are obvious, even in the near pitch blackness. “Are you offering?”

     That throws him. For a second, Shinji _wants_ to. For just a second he thinks that being in someone’s arms might actually help him sleep, and sharing a bed with Akihiko would be a hell of a lot better than lying in bed awake and alone. At the very least, the other boy would be a distraction from whatever eerie feelings plague him. He blinks, not letting his expression waver. Akihiko’s got his arms spread wide, looking just way too tired to give a damn. It feels like a surrender more than it does a challenge, and that throws Shinji even more. What if he _does_ give in? What if he just throws caution to the wind and follows through?

     “Yeah right,” he scoffs instead. 

     Akihiko shrugs lightly then, not bothering to brush it off as a joke. Shinji thinks about leaving, but he can't convince himself to go just yet. Instead he sits down next to Akihiko and looks up at the stars with him. Shinji knows Akihiko was only messing with him, but he also knows that the need for comfort is real, for both of them. And honestly, just being together like this is pretty comforting. The warmth of Akihiko’s body beside him, an inch or so away cancels out the cold of night just the slightest bit. It’s just enough that Shinji thinks he wouldn’t mind spending the dark hour like this every night. Akihiko must be feeling something along the same lines, because Shinji senses him relaxing a bit next to him. Right now, Shinji’s glad he came back to SEES. As sure as he is that this feeling will wear out, he’s too tired to actually fight it. All of the grief and regret and despair that’s sure to hit him can wait until morning. This moment of peace—this gentle quiet and the pleasant warmth of company are far more than he rightfully deserves, but Shinji just can’t quite find the energy to reject it. For now, he can just be glad to have Akihiko beside him and not let anything else complicate that. 

     They stay there in relative silence until the dark hour passes. All the lights around town flicker back on, as if nothing had ever happened.As if the small moment they shared had been nothing more than a fleeting dream. Akihiko glances over, wordlessly acknowledging him, then stands up. The two of them head back to their rooms, hoping they can get a few hours of sleep out of the evening yet. As soon as his eyes are closed, Shinji is gently carried off to sleep by thoughts of Akihiko next to him, his faint smile illuminated by only starlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really expected that line to be something that people referenced a lot in fics, so I was surprised when I couldn't actually find any that did. That was the initial inspiration for this fic, and we've been working on it for what feels like an eternity, so it's very exciting to finally be posting it!  
> -KingBeluga


	2. Dog Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji takes Koro-chan for a walk, Akihiko decides to tag along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 3rd, Evening

      It’s a fact: nobody in the dorm likes walking the dog more than Shinji. But he can't just go around advertising that. He doesn’t want to think about what would happen to his reputation if he did. So, when Koro-chan starts whining to go on a walk, Shinji ignores it. He closes his eyes, pretending to fall asleep out of boredom, so he can avoid looking in the mutt’s direction. The second whine is harder to ignore, with the pleading tone of Koro-chan’s voice tugging at his heartstrings, but Shinji just furrows his brow and bears it. He waits, hoping someone will ask who's taking the dog out, but no one is. A third whine and Shinji is about ready to break down. He shifts slightly, straightening up in his seat.

      “Oh, that's right, someone should take Koro-chan for a walk before it gets too late,” their leader says absentmindedly, before heading out the door to go who knows where.

Shinji restrains himself from jumping up, but doesn't wait long enough to actually let anyone else say something.

      “Well, I guess I needed some fresh air anyway,” Shinji says with an air of indifference, walking over to pat the dog’s head. He gives firm pats, but Koro-chan seems to know more affectionate pets will come when they're alone.

      “All right, let's go,” Akihiko's voice comes from behind Shinji. He hadn’t even noticed that Akihiko had stood up.

      ' _Let's go_ '? Shinji frowns, but nods. “A'right.” Well, it’s too late to back out now. Akihiko takes the lead, but it’s nothing worth making a fuss over, so he lets it go for now. Hands in his pockets, he follows after with an expression a bit too serious for a casual walk.

      Akihiko doesn’t seem interested in following any of the large main streets. Instead he’s favoring side streets and narrow, winding pathways. Koro-chan doesn’t seem to be put off though, so he figures this must be Akihiko’s typical dog-walking route. There are plenty of things for Koro-chan to stop and investigate, he notes. Shinji’s shoulder bumps into Akihiko's lightly and Shinji pulls away, startled. He mutters something incomprehensible that might pass for an apology, and Akihiko breathes a quiet laugh. Koro-chan prances proudly ahead of them, happy to lead the way. Shinji’s shoulder collides with Akihiko’s again, a bit more roughly this time, and Shinji mutters a curse. He looks over to Akihiko, who seems to be grinning at Shinji’s irritation. It isn't his fault Akihiko chose such a narrow street to walk.

      Shinji tries to step further away to avoid further bumps, shoulder nearly dragging on the brick wall to his left. There’s no chance of accidentally colliding again, but he feels a world away from his walking companion now. He almost regrets it. So when Akihiko steps back in a bit closer, he actually finds himself relieved. It’s probably best if he doesn’t think too hard about the implications of that. Their shoulders bump again—this time it's Akihiko's fault and he isn't apologizing. He smiles when Shinji catches his glance, and Shinji forces a scowl.

      “What’s with this route we’re taking?” he complains, “Is this even taking us to the shrine?”

      “I thought we’d take the scenic route,” Akihiko says with a slight smirk, lacing his fingers and casually stretching his arms out in front of him, “Besides, we’re less likely to run into other people this way. I know how easily you spook.” Shinji just grunts and shakes his head, shoving his hands ever deeper into his pockets.

      As the path becomes wider again, Akihiko puts some distance back between them. Shinji can’t tell if he’s more relieved or disappointed at the development. Koro-chan prances happily between them, hurrying ahead to sniff at a patch of grass. If he were alone, Shinji would probably stop to sit at a bench somewhere and ruffle the dog’s ears just about now. Nothing seems to be going quite right for him on this walk, and he’s getting increasingly irritated.

      As they turn the corner, Shinji spots a couple walking towards them. So much for not running into other people. He recognizes them as the sad old couple from Bookworms—not that he spends a lot of time at the bookstore or anything…he’s just seen them around, that’s all. Although, now that he’s gotten a better look at them, he notices that they actually don’t look so miserable for once. The two of them look content together, and the sight of them walking hand in hand is sweet enough that even Shinji can’t help but smile. He feels a pang of something just then…it can’t be jealousy, right? Shinji’s hand twitches at his side, as he eyes the interlaced fingers of the couple strolling towards them. He finds himself grasping compulsively and the empty air beside him, as if he’d expected something to be there. Of course there’s nothing. There never would be anything. There’s no good reason for the sinking feeling in his chest at that realization either. He’s just a bit annoyed that he isn’t petting the dog right now like he wanted to be—that’s probably all.

      By the time Shinji realizes that Akihiko is too distracted by Koro-chan’s antics to notice the couple walking towards them, it’s almost too late. He isn’t looking up or moving aside for them to pass, and at this rate, he’s gonna run right into them.

      “Hey,” Shinji says sharply, startling Akihiko out of his thoughts. He stops in his tracks and looks up, straight at Shinji instead of in front of him. Great, now he’s just made an obstacle of himself. His hand moves before he can stop it, tugging Akihiko sharply by the elbow. He pulls him to the side of the street and receives a kind smile and nod from the old woman.

      It’s not until they’ve gotten a few more paces past the couple that Shinji realizes he’s still holding onto Akihiko’s arm. He loosens his grip a bit, but Akihiko doesn’t move away. Shinji slides his hand down in an attempt to let go inconspicuously. The problem is, with Akihiko in such close proximity, he just ends up being more conspicuous. Even worse, he’s incredibly conscious of his featherlight touch all the way down Akihiko’s forearm, and there’s no way to keep their hands from brushing when it falls back to his side. Thankfully, the other boy doesn’t react to the fingers against his palm.

      For the first time, Shinji notices how Akihiko’s hand feels under his own. Not that it’s the sort of thing he would normally think about, but he can’t help but be acutely aware of it now. Between boxing and fighting shadows, Akihiko’s throwing punches all day and all night. He’s not _weak_ by any means. Shinji wouldn’t normally put a word like “gentle” on his list of ways to describe Akihiko—but the way their hands just barely touch, is absolutely _gentle_. Shinji finds himself wondering what Akihiko’s hands look like under those gloves—he always keeps them covered up these days. They’re probably bruised up and rough from all the fighting he does, much like Shinji’s own. In fact, the reason Akihiko wears gloves in the first place is most likely to hide all the damage. Shinji winces at the thought, but finds himself growing even more curious. He should really just dismiss this line of thought.

      He’d be able to think about something, _anything else,_ if they’d just _stop touching_. Instead, their hands brush again, as if drawn together by some magnetic force, lingering this time. Shinji swears he feels something like a jolt of electricity surge between them. It must be his imagination. Akihiko doesn’t look like he’s noticed anything. Maybe it’s okay. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about. He’s just over-thinking the situation. Akihiko's finger twitches under his and it feels remarkably like they're holding hands. Which is weird. _Right? Probably…_ he can’t convince himself to pull his hand away though. Eventually Shinji’s nerves get the best of him and his fingers twitch, breaking their light hand hold. Akihiko moves away and Shinji feels that odd mix of relief and disappointment again.

      There’s something familiar about the gesture, he realizes. Memories he’d thought long since buried are starting to bubble to the surface, much to Shinji’s chagrin. _None of that matters now._ The two of them might’ve held hands when they were younger—when they were crossing the street or if they went somewhere crowded—but it’s different now. Akihiko isn’t a kid anymore, and neither is Shinji. Even if he were to give into his weird impulse out of some misplaced feeling of nostalgia, how would Akihiko react? He’d probably frown at him and say something like, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing treating me like a kid?” Shinji can’t help but laugh at the thought.

      “What, is something funny?” Akihiko asks curiously, studying his expression carefully.

      “Huh? No…” Shinji says, but Akihiko is still looking at him expecting an answer, “I was just thinking about something from when we were kids.”

      Akihiko smiles, “And you make fun of me for being sentimental.” Shinji scoffs in response, and the two of them walk quietly for awhile until Akihiko finally asks, “So, what was it you were thinking about?”

      Shinji takes a moment to consider how to answer, “…Just how little you’ve changed.”

      “Somehow that doesn’t sound like a compliment,” Akihiko says, frowning. 

      “It wasn’t,” Shinji assures him. Akihiko laughs and slaps him playfully on the arm. The awkward atmosphere from earlier seems to have dissipated.

      Shinji breathes out slowly, relieved that he hadn’t given in to his impulse. If they had kept their hands together any longer, things definitely would have gotten weird. Everything is fine now. There’s nothing out of the ordinary about the amount of time he let their hands touch, and whatever he felt was just a passing whim. He is sure of it. He's sure of it the rest of their walk back. He's sure of it when he's making himself dinner that night. He's sure of it right until he tries to put his head down and sleep. Suddenly he's not quite sure. Maybe faux hand holding for a couple minutes while walking the dog is weird. Maybe wanting to do it again is weird. Maybe planning how he could get the two of them to have to walk the dog together again is weird...No, he just likes walking the dog. That's all.


	3. Whatever Strikes Your Fancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanting to hold his hand is the same as wanting to hold a nice heavy axe (and there's nothing weird about that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 4th

      For some reason, Shinji can’t stop thinking about Akihiko's hands. Not in a weird way or anything. It’s just that ever since they walked the dog together he’s become more aware of them. It’s not until he sees Akihiko punch out a shadow that he understands why. Akihiko’s hands are more than just a part of his body—they’re his weapons. As such, he treats them like any good fighter does their weapons: with the utmost respect and care. Shinji likes to keep his axes perfectly sharpened, polished, and oiled. So the same must be true, he concludes, about Akihiko's hands.

      Shinji’s fixation only seems to grow more and more intense as the days progress. He starts to notice simple things at first, like Akihiko’s mannerisms. There’s the subtle gestures he makes while conversing quietly, or the way his hands will clench and unclench when he’s getting fired up. He keeps them folded neatly on his lap like they’re on display while he sits. When he gets impatient, he’ll start drumming his fingers on his chair, his long digits keeping a perfect, impatient rhythm. Somehow, even the simplest of motions have an air of refinement to them that Shinji is slowly finding more and more captivating.

      Eventually his focus starts to drift towards the finer details. His fingers are long and tapered, but still sturdy. Shinji likes how his black gloves catch the light, and how he can sometimes catch the faint smell of leather if Akihiko’s close enough.

      Before he knows it, Shinji’s letting himself become enraptured by watching Akihiko do completely ordinary things. It's like watching someone use their weapon for everyday life. He holds everything loosely as if his hands will suddenly become lethal again if he tightens his grip.

      It’s not like Shinji wants to hold his hand or anything. Of course not. At least not in the normal sense, anyway. This…feeling…he’s getting, this urge to touch Akihiko’s hands, is like how he feels when he gets a new weapon. Knowing how honed those hands are makes Shinji thrill at the thought of gripping them the same way he would a nice heavy axe. By the same logic, wanting to pull his glove off is the same as wanting to pull a sword from its sheath—to inspect the sharpness of its blade and marvel at how it glints in the light. As a fellow fighter, this is a perfectly natural instinct. At least, that’s what he’s managed to convince himself.

      Then Shinji catches himself staring while Akihiko is massaging lotion into his hands. He’s definitely staring, and it’s getting harder to convince himself that this is a normal reaction. Usually, this would fall into the category of personal hygiene activities that a person really ought to do in the privacy of their own room, but in Akihiko’s case, he supposes, this probably falls more into the category of weapon maintenance. Akihiko does have a habit of tending to his boxing gloves while sitting in the common room, so this really shouldn’t feel any different.

      And yet, something about the situation seems more obscene than it really has any right to be. Should he even be watching this? Shinji notices the black leather gloves on the table, one folded neatly over the other. This is something of a rare opportunity, and Shinji can’t help but take advantage of it. His eyes rove slowly over the landscape of Akihiko’s bare hands, cataloguing the gentle slopes and valleys of his knuckles, the ridge of a tendon, his neatly trimmed nails.

      Shinji has been watching intently for what seems like way too long when the realization hits him—there’s no bruises at all. There’s some faint scars and calluses, but not a single cut or scrape to be seen. How is that even possible? Akihiko isn’t exactly a cautious fighter. Shinji watches intently as Akihiko rubs the cream into the palm of his hand, then turns his hand over to spread it over the backside and down the length of his fingers. Maybe it’s the result of Polydeuces’ power, Shinji considers—he _does_ have healing abilities after all. Akihiko finishes coating his left hand, he moves onto the right, and finally, he laces his fingers together to reach the area between them. When it comes to his own hands, his touch is much more firm than it is with anything else he handles, Shinji notes. _If those hands were on me_ , the thought comes unbidden into his mind, _would his touch be…_

      “What?” Akihiko’s voice cuts in suddenly and pulls Shinji out of his trance-like state. Shinji's head snaps up to meet Akihiko's confused expression.

      “What?” he replies back after a moment of panic and no better replies coming to mind. His eyes flick down. Akihiko is taking each of his fingers one at a time, tugging slightly, then rubbing the pad of his thumb in slow circles from base to tip. Shinji swallows hard.

      “What are you staring at?” Akihiko asks, as if nothing at all out of the ordinary is happening right in front of him.

      “What do you mean?” Shinji asks, hoping he can just brush the whole thing off.

      Akihiko is flexing his fingers now. He opens his hands as wide as they'll go then balls them into a fist.

      “You look really intense. What's wrong?” Akihiko asks, quirking an eyebrow. He rolls his wrists—it’s a smooth practiced motion. Shinji does a piss poor job trying to avert his eyes.

      “Your hands...” Shinji fumbles for an excuse. ‘Your hands are amazing’ suddenly sounds incredibly weird to say. And 'you take great care of your hands' doesn't really sound any better to him now either. “Are really goddamn girlie for how much you punch shit.” _What was that?! Why would you say that about his perfect hands? Idiot!_ Shinji curses himself silently.

      Akihiko raises a skeptical eyebrow. Shinji panics internally because, no shit he isn’t going to buy that.He obviously puts a lot of effort into taking care of his hands. Why would he take shit about them?

      “But I guess if they can take down a shadow that's pretty...cool,” Shinji manages to give some slightly closer approximation of his feelings, looking away as he does.

      “Thanks?”

      “Tssh...” Shinji stands up suddenly, not letting himself look at his hands even one last time. “Whatever.” He walks out of the room before he cam say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On one hand, it's gonna be hard for me to deny having a hand fetish after writing this chapter, but on the other, that gratuitous use of the phrase "base to tip" is one of my shining moments as a human, so hey.  
> -KingBeluga


	4. Soundless Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akihiko and Mitsuru are away from the dorm, but at least Koro-chan is there to keep Shinji company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 6th-9th

       It feels awkward being in the dorm without Akihiko there. The walls that ought to be familiar feel downright foreign without Akihiko and Mitsuru around to ground him. Shinji’s beginning to think he’d feel more comfortable back in some dark alley or whatever. Less _lonely_ , even. Fucking pathetic.

      It just figures, doesn’t it? After all of Akihiko’s nagging, Shinji finally came back to SEES, and now Akihiko isn’t even _here_. He knows it’ll only be for a few days tops, but it still annoys him.

      Whatever. It’s not like he came back for Akihiko’s sake. He came back to look after Ken-kun. Of course, protecting him is one thing, having a normal conversation is another. So here he is, stuck in this shitty dorm with Ken-kun, a bunch of underclassmen, and a robot, and no idea how to interact with any of them. Shinji spends the evening sulking in the dining area, staring at the wall, at a loss for what else to do. If he just disappears into his room, he might give the group the wrong impression. He doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s unreliable, but wow he does not want to carry on a conversation right now.

      He really wants to go to Tartarus to blow off steam, but that’s not happening either. The only thing to do is to wait it out. Another day passes. Akihiko and Mitsuru are at the hospital yet again.

      Shinji wanders over to the bulletin board, reading over the various fliers in hopes they can offer some level of distraction. He feels something nudge at his leg and looks down to see Koro-chan carrying something in his mouth. It looks like…Akihiko’s winter scarf?

      “Wh-why are you bringing me this?” Shinji asks, his tone startling Koro-chan a bit, “I mean…this isn’t mine, Koro. Why would you…” Koro-chan flattens his ears and whimpers. Shinji sighs. He didn’t mean to hurt the poor little guy’s feelings or anything.

      “I’m sorry Koro-chan…” Shinji says softly, patting the dog on the head, and looking around to check that no one is paying attention. He takes the scarf, so as to avoid further offending Koromaru, and promptly returns to his room. He’ll give this back to Akihiko later—he’ll definitely need it once the weather starts cooling down again. Hopefully Shinji will be able avoid explaining why he had it in the first place. Why _does_ he have it? Could Koro-chan tell he was feeling cold? Shinji holds the scarf to his chest as he contemplates Koro-chan’s intentions. It _does_ feel nice and cozy, and there’s a familiar scent that makes him feel at home. Whatever sense of unease that’s been weighing on him over the past few days seems to be fading, so maybe that mutt was on to something after all. Except now there’s a new feeling. Something akin to mild panic. Shinji hastily tosses the scarf under his bed and tries to forget about it.

      Another day passes, and Akihiko and Mitsuru are still conspicuously absent from the dorm. Shinji turns expectantly when he hears the door open, but it’s just their leader who walks in.

      “Hey. How long have we been holding that Chidori girl?” Shinji asks, irritated.

      “About four days,” their leader answers casually.

      “Oh, yeah?” Four days. Four days since Akihiko’s been back to the dorm, but if feels like an eternity. It’s pissing him off.

      Shinji ends up staring at the bulletin board again, as if it will suddenly become more interesting. He tries to ignore Aigis when she approaches him, but it’s a useless effort. When it comes to being unable to take a hint, this girl is second only to Junpei.

      “Koromaru-san wishes to communicate something to you,” Aigis announces, “If you wish to see Akihiko-san, you should go to him yourself.” Shinji scoffs and turns away, but if this keeps up any longer, he might just take that advice.

 


	5. Will You, Won't You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are we gonna make out, or am I gonna punch him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 10th

       “Hey, about earlier…” Akihiko starts. He’s managed to corner Shinji at the bottom of the stairs, and Shinji quickly realizes he won’t be able to escape this conversation.

       “…I thought we were done talking about this,” Shinji grumbles, “I’ve said everything I have to say.” His hand reflexively moves to his cheek, still stinging from Akihiko’s punch that afternoon.

       “I just wanted to make sure that…we’re,” Akihiko gestures between them, “okay now.”

       “I’m not going to leave, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Shinji says, impatiently. Akihiko visibly relaxes at that, but he’s still fidgeting a bit.

       “It’s not just that,” he says, hesitantly.

       “What, you worried about my _feelings_ or something?” Shinji asks in a mocking tone.

       “Yeah. I am,” Akihiko replies matter-of-factly, and just a little irritated.

       “Well, don’t be. I don’t need an apology.” Shinji is still looking for an escape route, but Akihiko follows his every move, effectively blocking him.

       “Good, because I’m not going to apologize,” he says sternly. It almost sounds like Akihiko _wants_ to start another fight. If that’s what Akihiko is playing at, Shinji does not want to deal with it.

       “Tch. Get lost,” Shinji tries to shove past Akihiko, but Akihiko shoves back, slamming him against the wall with an intense look in his eyes. Shinji sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets. There’s not much else he can do in the face of Akihiko’s pure obstinacy. 

       “Shinji, can’t you at least _try_ to take this seriously for a second?” Akihiko is raising his voice now, and Shinji finds he can’t help but follow suit.

       “First you lecture me, then you _punch me_ , and now you wanna talk about my _feelings_? Tell me Aki, exactly what part of that am I supposed be taking seriously?”

       “Our friendship is important to me, Shinji. I care if things are okay between us or not,” Akihiko’s voice is trembling. “Doesn’t any of that matter to you?”

       Shinji is honestly a bit baffled about where all of this is coming from. What the hell does he have to be worried about? Their friendship has always been a given, and well, fighting is a part of that. He can’t begin to keep count of how many of Akihiko’s punches he’s taken over the years. So why is Akihiko so worried this one time? It’s not as if it’s going to change anything. He’s back now, regardless of the reason; can’t that just be enough?

       “Fuck that.” Shinji realizes that was the wrong thing to say after it’s already out of his mouth and Akihiko’s hands are clutching the collar of his coat, pulling him down to his level. Neither of them speak and the amount of tension in the air spikes dangerously. Akihiko’s face is way to close—he either needs to punch him or kiss him, and Shinji doesn’t know which. Akihiko’s expression softens just a bit, but his grip on his collar remains tight. Shinji can’t help but imagine how easy it would be for Akihiko to pull him just a little bit closer, how his lips might feel against his own. They’re close enough that Shinji can feel the warm puff of Akihiko’s breath.

       “Shinji…” Akihiko’s voice comes out sounding like a plea. _Oh my god, is he really gonna do it?_

       His fist stings before he realizes what happened. Akihiko takes a step back, wincing, hand clutching his cheek. _Oh._

       “There. Now we’re even,” Shinji mutters, his tense posture relaxing a little as they step apart. “That means we’re ‘okay now’, got it?”

       Akihiko nods wordlessly. Shinji’s glad they cleared that up.

 


	6. Mad Bull Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fine, even though I now have his saliva in my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 11th, after school

       Shinji is desperately in need of a caffeine fix. The sun isn’t even down yet and he feels like he could topple over in exhaustion at any moment. He needs to make it through the rest of the day somehow. If the team decides to go to Tartarus tonight, there’s no way he’s in any condition to be useful as is. Thankfully, he has just enough energy to make it up the stairs to the second floor and shuffle over to the vending machines. He mindlessly punches in the familiar sequence of buttons. It’s not until a few seconds pass the he dully realizes that the machine is not dutifully dispensing his drink. It takes a few more seconds to notice the red letters reading “sold out”, which seem to be mocking him. Shinji is narrowing his eyes at the machine when he hears the sound of a can being opened behind him. He turns around to see Akihiko, standing casually, soda in hand.

       “Is that…the last Mad Bull?” Shinji asks. The question comes out sounding like the kind of sad whine Koro-chan might make. If only he had more energy, he might have sounded more threatening.

       “Yeah, sorry,” Akihiko says, wantonly taking a sip of the beverage. Shinji stares helplessly as Akihiko presses the can to his lips. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t notice something like how soft Akihiko’s lips look. This is apparently not a normal circumstance, because his lips look _impossibly_ soft. God, does he use lip balm? He must have _just_ put some on. Shinji’s mouth goes dry right then, which is obviously because of thirst, and not because he’s just noticed the way Akihiko’s throat bobs when he swallows.

       “I’ll arm wrestle you for it,” Shinji suggests, hoping he doesn’t sound nearly as pathetic as he feels. Akihiko flashes a sly grin.

       “Alright, you’re on,” he says, punctuating his statement with a long, slow swig of the drink. He runs his tongue over the rim of the can to catch a drop that’s spilled. His breath fogs the cold aluminum surface ever so slightly. Clearly Akihiko is taunting him on purpose. He’s probably planning to drink the whole can right there in front of him, and he’s going to make sure Shinji knows how much he’s enjoying it. 

       “Hey, save some for me, will you?” Shinji grunts, his irritation rising. Irritation and…some other emotion that he doesn’t care to identify.

       “Only if you win,” Akihiko teases, and gulps down more of the drink. Shinji pauses, unable to look away from Akihiko’s lips.

       “Like I’d lose to you,” Shinji mutters. He sits down at the table and readies his arm, feeling more energetic at the idea of a challenge. Akihiko grins and joins him. There’s a touch of melodrama in the way Akihiko curls his fingers around Shinji’s hand, and his grip is anything but gentle.

       “Ready?” Akihiko asks. Shinji ignores the fact that his heart is racing way too fast for something as simple as an arm wrestling contest. He doesn’t bother with an answer and just pushes back as hard as he can. Of course, Akihiko is familiar with all of Shinji’s tricks, so he’s not fazed in the slightest. Not to mention he’s stronger than Shinji remembers.

       Akihiko’s hand feels warm against Shinji’s, even through the leather of  his glove. Shinji’s face is burning, which admittedly is becoming something of a familiar feeling these days. Akihiko is trembling with exertion as he tightens his grip. Akihiko’s thumb slides over Shinji’s in what feels like and affectionate gesture, but is probably nothing more than an involuntary movement. Nevertheless, Shinji clenches his teeth in response.

       Akihiko hisses in a breath and bites his lip. The action throws Shinji off guard—enough so that he doesn’t notice that he’s let his grip slack and allowed Akihiko to get the upper hand. He _does_ notice the impish grin that’s sneaking across Akihiko’s face however, and _oh_ , he’d like to wipe that expression right off. It’s time to end this, Shinji decides, pushing back with all his strength. Akihiko may have gotten stronger, but he’s not _that_ strong.

       “Damn it!” Akihiko yells as his hand hits the table, to which Shinji only responds with a quiet grunt of triumph.

       “You’re welcome,” Akihiko says sarcastically. He passes the can off to Shinji, getting way close to him in the process, never breaking eye contact. Shinji is pretty sure that’s meant to be an intimidating glare, but if that’s the case, it could really use some work because Shinji just feels like he’s being seduced. Like, _really_. Well, whatever, at least there’s half a Mad Bull left for him to drink. 

       He lifts the can to take a drink without thinking, but freezes once it touches his lips. Just moments ago, it had been Akihiko’s mouth on the surface. His saliva is probably still on there. Which means that Shinji now has Akihiko’s saliva in his mouth. Well, whatever, that’s not gross or anything, right? It’s not like he’s gonna catch any germs or cooties or whatever. Shinji doesn’t worry about that kind of shit. And something like this doesn’t count as an indirect kiss or anything. Hell, Akihiko’s the one that offered it to him, so it’s not like he’s gonna think it’s weird. They’re just friends sharing a soda, like they’ve done plenty of times before. Perfectly normal. Shinji steels his resolve and takes a swig.

       He’s pretty sure his lips are tingling, but that’s probably just from the carbonation. _Everything is fine_ , he assures himself, _it’s not a big deal, even though I now have his saliva in my mouth_.


	7. Battle Tactics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...got it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 12, Dark Hour

       “This bastard’s weak to electricity,” Shinji yells, “Knock it down, Aki!” Akihiko flashes a smile.

       “Got it,” he says, voice so low it’s almost a purr. What _was_ that tone, Shinji wonders. Well, Akihiko’s always been the type to get fired up during battle. Maybe a little _too_ fired up. Still, something about his attitude seems even more excessive than usual. Then again, it has been a long time since they’ve fought side by side like this. To be honest, Shinji’s getting a bit excited too. He lets his voice ring out when his axe pounds into the enemy’s metal hull, even though the attack barely leaves a scratch. The arcane turret flashes brightly, no doubt amping itself up for its next attack.

       “Don’t mess with me,” Akihiko growls, aiming his evoker with a flourish. The floor shakes with the force of Polydeuces’ electric blast. 

       “Alright, let’s kick some ass!” Shinji shouts as they rush in for an all out attack. Akihiko stands tall and proud, brandishing his fist as the shadow disappears in a swirl of smoke.

       “We did it,” he says, with a grin directed towards Shinji. Thankfully, Shinji doesn’t have an opportunity to contemplate that _something_ in his voice this time, because Akihiko is already taking off down the corridor, looking for their next fight. Shinji catches up just as Akihiko’s landing a preemptive strike on their next opponent.

       There’s three of them this time, and Shinji recognizes those long legs and elegant posture from their last venture into tartarus. He smirks. This type is weak to zio too—it must be Akihiko’s lucky day.

       “Knock ‘em down, Aki,” Shinji yells, surprised by the thrill in his own voice. He must be catching Akihiko’s weird adrenaline rush. If he’s not careful, he might get carried away.

       “Got it,” Akihiko replies, in the same manner as before. Is it just Shinji’s imagination, or was that tone downright _sensual_? He really needs to calm down. They _both_ really need to calm down. There’s no reason to be getting this worked up over battle tactics. Seriously, if he says it like that one more time, Shinji’s gonna punch him. Or something. He’s not quite sure what that something is.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't be the only one who felt like Akihiko was constantly trying to seduce me every time he opened his mouth in the beginning of the game...


	8. Dreamless Dorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's pretty cute when he's sleeping...WOAH KEEP IT TOGETHER, MAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 13th, Sunday Afternoon

       The dorm is quieter than usual today. Everyone must be out, Shinji thinks, walking into the empty common room. He smiles when he spots Koro-chan, all sprawled out and taking a nap in a sunbeam. The mutt looks relaxed, probably not in the mood for a walk today. Honestly, Shinji can’t say he is either. In fact, he has half a mind to lie down right there in the warm sun too.

       Before Shinji can give into that impulse, he notices Akihiko, fast asleep on the couch. One of his arms is dangling off the edge, and he’s snoring quietly. Shinji has to hold back a laugh. _Him and Koro both got the same idea, huh_? Well, it’s understandable—training in Tartarus at night takes a toll on all of their sleeping habits. Not to mention, on top of that, Akihiko stays up late to study more often than he probably should. Shinji knows that even on a good night, Akihiko struggles with insomnia the same way that he does. So, it’s somewhat reassuring to see him getting some well deserved sleep for once. If only Shinji could say the same for himself.

       He looks at Akihiko, sprawled across the couch like a limp noodle, with the slightest bit of drool at the corner of his parted lips. It’s rare to see Akihiko with his guard so completely down like this. He looks peaceful. This isn’t the Akihiko that carries the weight of his past around with him and faces danger on a daily basis. This is the Akihiko that wants to save stray dogs, and eat beef bowls, and start wrestling matches in the middle of the night. Just…Akihiko, without all the things that hurt. It’s a side of him Shinji wishes he could see more often.

       Koro-chan breathes a long, relaxed sigh, which is enough to pull Shinji from his thoughts. He realizes that he doesn’t have a particularly good reason to continue standing there. Not that he has anywhere else to be, but why _is_ he still standing there?

       Despite his inner objections, Shinji stays, watching the slow rise and fall of Akihiko’s chest with each breath. Shinji feels his eyelids growing heavy. It must be the steady rhythm that’s soothing him. Or maybe Shinji is just exhausted to begin with, and now he’s being reminded of it.

       He wonders if Akihiko is cold in only a t-shirt—it has been getting colder the past few days. It would be very unfortunate if Akihiko caught a cold and had to miss out on training. Before he knows he’s doing it, Shinji’s taking off his coat and draping it over the other boy like a blanket. Akihiko mumbles something, nuzzling the fabric of the coat a little bit, and then relaxes. Shinji feels an almost painful sensation in his chest, which he is quick to dismiss as a side-effect from the suppressants, or lack of sleep, or both probably.

       Shinji stifles a yawn. It’s as good a time as any for a nap, he figures, so he might as well follow suit. He slumps down in a chair and lets his eyes fall closed. He’s faintly aware of the sound of Akihiko’s breathing—slow, steady. Without even intending to, he matches his own breathing to the same rhythm. 

       Little by little, Shinji’s thoughts begin to quiet, giving way to a sense of calm. It’s honestly a little unsettling, because he’s _never_ this calm. He’s not like Akihiko—Shinji shouldn’t _get_ to have a reprieve. That’s what he wants to tell himself, but he’s getting too groggy. Shinji opens one eye and peers over at Akihiko. Yeah, he thinks, this is the Akihiko he wants to protect. Making sure he doesn’t recklessly get himself killed, or watching his back in battle—none of that is enough. Maybe sharing a quiet moment like this is another way of protecting him.

       Shinji sighs as his eyes flutter closed again. _Who is going to protect you when I’m not here anymore?_ He wonders.

       Shinji’s not sure when he dozed off, but he wakes up feeling incredibly warm and content. He blinks a few times, eyes straining to stay open. It takes a few moments for Shinji to realize that it’s his own coat laying over him, and the warmth is Akihiko’s lingering body heat. He closes his eyes for a few more minutes and lets it sink into him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I yawned so much writing this chapter.


	9. Friendly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Trust me, girls complicate life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 14th, Evening

       The common room is already quite lively when Shinji wanders in. Aigis is having a surprisingly serious looking conversation with Koro-chan. Ken-kun is sitting on the couch, swinging his legs and sipping on a mug of black coffee. Meanwhile, Yukari and Fuuka seem to be pestering Akihiko about something.

       “It was Junpei’s idea,” Akihiko says defensively, “The rest of us were just going along with it.” Ah. Shinji’s pretty sure he’s heard a few renditions of this anecdote before.

       “And?” Yukari asks curiously, leaning forward in her chair.

       “And nothing, it was a complete failure,” Akihiko grimaces. 

       “Well, if Stupei was involved, that’s not surprising,” Yukari says, rolling her eyes.

       “It’s not like I did any better,” Akihiko sighs,“I never know what to say in those situations”. Yukari and Fuuka share a look.

       “Sempai…would you like some advice?” Yukari asks, hands clasped together in excitement.

       “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt…” Akihiko says nervously. Yukari and Fuuka share another smile.

       “Okay, first things first,” Yukari says, raising a finger and pausing dramatically, “First impressions are _crucial_. You don’t want to mess those up!”

       “Right…” Akihiko says, clearly regretting having let this conversation continue.

       “Just…be yourself. Let the conversation flow naturally,” Fuuka adds.

       “But make sure she’s actually interested in what you’re talking about,” Yukari clarifies, “Try to avoid any, uh…weird topics.”

       “Then what should I talk about? The weather?” Akihiko asks, at a loss.

       “NO!” Yukari shouts, “That’ll definitely bore her.” Akihiko groans in frustration and covers his face with his hands. Ken-kun, on the other hand, looks thoroughly riveted by this conversation. Regardless, Shinji’s heard enough.

       “Tch…what are you telling him? He doesn’t need to know all that crap,” he grumbles.

       “Well then, what would _you_ tell him?” Yukari chides.

       “Yeah Shinjiro-sempai, what’s your advice?” Ken-kun asks, sounding genuinely curious. _Damn it._ If it were just the girls teasing him, he could easily ignore them, but since Ken-kun is asking, he feels obligated to answer earnestly.

       “I just think it’s a waste of time trying to impress anyone. You should be with someone who makes you feel comfortable, and accepts all the shitty things about you too…Otherwise what’s the damn point?” Shinji decides to shut up before he starts rambling. He crosses his arms and slumps down a bit. Ken-kun nods.

       “That’s…actually pretty good advice,” Yukari remarks.

       “I’m impressed, Shinjiro-sempai,” Fuuka smiles approvingly.

       “Yeah, maybe I should just date _you_ ,” Akihiko smirks. Yukari’s eyes widen like she’s just been let in on a particularly salacious secret. Fuuka smiles slightly, but seems generally unfazed. Ken-kun’s wearing a stoic expression, like he’s trying to figure out if Akihiko was serious or not.

       “Careful,” Shinji grunts, “If you keep making jokes like that, I’m gonna start taking you seriously.”

       “I’ll keep that in mind,” Akihiko remarks. Hold on, what did _that_ mean? Shinji’s not sure what to make of that, so he decides to ignore the burning sensation in his face and chalk it up to just another joke.

 


	10. The Bento Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...does that mean he wants to eat my cooking and is it weird that I want him to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 15th

       Shinji is just loitering around the dorm in case the team decides to go to Tartarus. It’s a calm evening, which he supposes should be a good thing, but Shinji can’t help but feel uneasy. There’s definitely a storm coming, and he’s really itching to fight some shadows. However, it seems everyone else would rather relax, and they probably deserve a break anyway. 

       He’s zoning out a bit, but he just happens to be within earshot, and he just happens to overhear part of Akihiko’s conversation with their leader. 

       “I hear Shinji’s a really good cook,” he says, “I can’t say from experience, though. I’ve never had anything he’s made.”

       Shinji quirks an eyebrow. Why would he tell their leader something like that? Something about Akihiko’s tone makes Shinji think that he intended for him to hear it. Maybe it’s a cry for help. Maybe he’s finally tied of eating rice covered in protein powder or whatever other vile concoctions he’s been coming up with. 

       Well, that was the train of thought that brought Shinji here, to the supermarket, where he is currently picking out ingredients he thinks Akihiko will like. Shinji stops to sigh and shake his head as he peruses the various meats. Akihiko has such a misguided sense of what qualifies as proper nutrition…how does he expect to keep his strength up if he doesn’t even eat properly? _It’s no wonder he’s so skinny_ , Shinji thinks, _I swear I could just…fit my hands right around his waist._

       At that point he realizes that he’s been standing in front of the meat selection for a long time now, scowling, and people are starting to whisper. He quickly grabs some nice looking beef, shoves it into his basket, and turns heel.He should get some vegetables too, though. Akihiko is going to get a balanced meal whether he likes it or not. 

       Once the grocery shopping and really…awkward thoughts are out of the way, he can get to cooking. It’s nothing too fancy, but, well, considering Akihiko’s typical eating habits, Shinji is certain he’ll like it.He can imagine Akihiko’s face lighting up when he takes the first bite, saying _“This is really good Shinji! You made all of this for me?”_ Shinji’s face burns at the thought, but his imagination is already too out of control to stop. _“Will you cook for me again sometime?”_ his imaginary Akihiko asks coyly, tongue darting out to lick the ends of his chopsticks. 

       Shinji shakes his head hard to rid himself of that mental image and stares down at the bento he’s prepared. It’s not _cutesy_ or anything. There’s no heart shaped onigiri, or nori flower petals or whatever the fuck. It is damn _nice_ looking though—from the perfectly rolled tamagoyaki, to the neatly arranged meat dumplings, and the sauteed vegetables, all in their rightful place.

       He can’t help but wonder, after all of the things he just imagined, is it weird to give this to Akihiko now? It’s not like he made it so Akihiko would say those kinds of things. This was an act of genuine concern for Akihiko’s health—and sure, he might have gotten a little carried away, but that’s just because he likes cooking, damn it! Shinji narrows his eyes the the bento again, and his imaginary Akihiko whispers _“So good!”_ one last time. 

       That’s it. He absolutely cannot give this to Akihiko.

       He dumps the whole bento out into a bowl, leaving him with one big overflowing heap. He frowns at the beautiful bento ruined by his own hand. For a moment, he considers trying to reform the perfect lunchbox, but it’s too late. He’s already wrecked it. There’s no more turning back. _“Oh... thanks,”_ he imagines a disappointed Akihiko saying, looking at the poorly reconstructed bento. No, he’d look like an idiot. Maybe he should just call this whole thing off. He looks at the sad pile of food one last time. It would be a waste to just throw it away, so that’s out of the question. Giving it to another one of his dorm mates is certainly an option, but likely an even more embarrassing one. He’s already come this far, Shinji concludes with a sigh, he might as well follow through with his original plan.

       “Here,” Shinji grunts, holding out the bowl of disorderly bento contents.

       “What _is_ this?” Akihiko asks, eyeing him suspiciously. Well, that’s more or less the reaction Shinji expected.

       “I got a little carried away,” Shinji says, as nonchalant as he can, “This is more than I can eat by myself, so if you’re hungry, take what you want.”

       “Oh, I was just going to make some cup noodles,” he notes, giving the styrofoam container in his hand an absentminded shake.

       “If you don’t want any, I’ll give the extra to the dog,” Shinji says, getting flustered. 

       “Don’t you dare,”Akihiko cuts in, snatching the bowl, “I wouldn’t miss a chance like this.”

       Akihiko pauses, taking a closer look at the food in front of him, and then looks back to Shinji.

       “…did you drop it or something?” he asks, skeptically.

       “Who cares what it looks like?” Shinji grumbles, “The taste is fine, so just shut up and eat it.”

       “…right.” Akihiko still sounds suspicious, but he seems to have conceded for now.  Shinji watches anxiously as Akihiko takes the first bite. His eyes immediately light up, and Shinji feels his heart jump way up into his throat.

       “This is pretty good. Why don’t you cook for me more often?” He asks as he devours the meal.

       “It’s not like I was cooking for you,” Shinji sputters.

       “Right,” Akihiko nods casually, but doesn’t sound convinced. At least he’s too distracted by eating to challenge him about it.

       Neither says a word. Akihiko just continues shoveling food into his mouth, and Shinji tries his hardest to focus on something, _anything_ else.

       “I sure would like to be able to eat like this more often though,” Akihiko says, finally breaking their silence, and glances over with a hopeful glint in his eye.

       “…Don’t get used to it,” Shinji snips back.

       “Stingy…” Akihiko complains, but is smiling despite it.

 

 


	11. Medical Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why a swimsuit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 16th, Dark Hour

       “Our leader sure has some weird tastes,” Shinji comments, staring at Akihiko’s attire, “Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?” His gaze roves downwards, past the white t-shirt just barely covering Akihiko’s hips, and to that little, blue,  _fucking speedo_ covering…not much of anything, really. “Why do we listen to that weirdo anyway?”

       “Well, there’s probably some kind of reason behind this,” Akihiko says with a shrug, “Anyway, it isn’t that different from what I wear when I’m boxing. As long as I can fight, it doesn’t matter.” Akihiko smirks, brandishing his fist proudly. Shinji fixes his face with a scowl and looks away. He’s determined to avoid letting his eyes get too carried away with their wandering, and even more determined to avoid any potential thoughts about how pale and supple his friend’s thighs look. If at all possible, he’d like to avoid acknowledging that his vocabulary even includes the word “supple” to begin with.

       “What, did I say something weird?” Akihiko asks, still smirking.

       “Tch. Whatever,” Shinji grunts, “Come on, there’s ass to be kicked.”

       And speaking of ass…

       Its not like Shinji is _trying_ to look or anything, but seriously, there might as well be a giant flashing arrow pointing directly at it. It can’t really be helped, Shinji thinks. He’s just not used to seeing these particular aspects of Akihiko’s physique, and well, it’s perfectly reasonable to admire the body of an athlete.Hell, Akihiko puts a ton of time and energy into honing his body, so he very well should admire it.

       Shinji isn’t sure if it has to do with the swimsuit or what, but Akihiko seems particularly fired up tonight. He forgets he was trying not to stare, watching intently as Akihiko lands one critical hit after another. In comparison, Shinji can’t help but feel a little bit useless, swinging his axe around and missing more hits than he lands. It’s not like the enemies they’re facing are all that strong, so they shouldn’t run into any trouble. Anyway, it’s Akihiko’s own damn fault for being so distracting. Is he just trying to show off or what? Shinji finally manages to sink his axe into an enemy, looking up just in time to see Akihiko pull off some kind of midair spin attack. His fist comes in contact with the beast’s face, the shockwave destroying it in an instant. He really is in rare form tonight, maybe their leader was onto something after all.

       “Heh…My skills have improved,” Akihiko says smugly. Shinji swears the other boy is actually sparkling. Wait, no, that’s probably just sweat. “What do you say, one more battle? You’re not gonna let me hog the action all night, are you?”

       “Shut up, you’re the one who can’t stop showing off,” Shinji scoffs.

       “You’re the one who can’t stop staring,” Akihiko shoots back.

       Shit.

       What is he supposed to say? Akihiko had caught him staring, so it’s not like he can very well deny it, but it’s not like he can just admit to it either. Okay, yeah, he’d been staring, but not in a weird way. He just happened to be admiring Akihiko’s fighting skills, that’s all. There’s just no way to get that across without it sounding wrong. There’s no way out. He’s never going to hear the end of this. Shinji is in the middle of cursing himself when Akihiko is suddenly knocked to the ground.

       Shit shit shit.

       Shinji can’t believe it, he was too busy having some stupid internal crisis to notice the shadow creeping up on them. He shoots Akihiko a concerned look. He seems okay, but he hasn’t regained his balance yet. Now is not the time for Shinji to be panicking—it’s time to finish the fight. His axe seems to move all on its own, and the pitiful shadow is reduced to nothing in practically no time at all. Shinji wipes his brow, panting, and turns to Akihiko. There’s a red gash on his knee, probably from when he fell. It doesn’t look too terrible, but still. Shinji feels a familiar anger bubbling up within him. Akihiko is always this frustratingly reckless, but Shinji? Shinji should know better than to let his guard down and get caught up in Akihiko’s irresponsible antics.

       “You’re injured,” he grunts, tone bordering on accusatory.

       “It doesn’t hurt too bad, I’m just a bit dizzy from being knocked down,” Akihiko winces, “I can probably just-“

       Shinji doesn’t wait for him to finish talking. He just reaches for that dumb t-shirt Akihiko is wearing and tears off a big strip of fabric from it. Akihiko stays silent as Shinji carefully wraps his wound. This is really not the time to be conscious of how toned Akihiko’s muscles are or how nice his heated skin feels under Shinji’s palms. He wills those thoughts away and dutifully finishes the job. Akihiko looks thoroughly perturbed, but doesn’t complain.

       “There, that should stop the bleeding,” Shinji says gruffly, “Now try to be less of an idiot.”

       “Maybe I really should put on some normal armor…” Akihiko sighs, “Or at least some pants.” 

       “NO!” Shinji shouts, before he realizes what he’s saying, “I mean…It’s your own damn fault you got hurt. You need to learn how to pay more attention to your surroundings. That’s obviously why our leader made you wear that in the first place.” He hopes that’s a good enough save. There is no way he can let his friend think that he’s more concerned about checking out his legs than he is with his safety. Because he’s not.

        “….riiiight,” Akihiko says, sounding either unconvinced or just confused by the whole incident.

       As they walk back to the dorm, it occurs to him that Polydeuces has healing abilities, and Akihiko could have just taken care of his own injury. That’s probably what he had been in the middle of explaining when Shinji interrupted him. Well, what’s done is done. All he can hope for is for Akihiko to never bring it up.

       Akihiko heaves a sigh and punches Shinji lightly in the arm. “I liked that shirt, asshole.”

       “Serves you right for being an idiot,” Shinji grumbles.

 


	12. Aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji is not awake enough for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 17th, Morning

       Shinji really doesn’t want to deal with whoever is knocking on his door this early. Seriously, what’s the point of having weekends if you’re not even going to sleep in? Well, it’s too late for that now, he supposes. He’s already awake, so he might as well see who is trying to incur his wrath today.

       Of _course_ it’s Akihiko.

       “Hey, do you have any bandages I can use for my knee?” Akihiko asks, looking fully awake and bright as day. It’s a strain on Shinji’s eyes, honestly. Worse than the fucking sun shining through the window first thing in the morning.

       “Yeah, probably. Hold on let me look,” Shinji mumbles, syllables barely discernible. If he remembers correctly, there should be some in his medicine cabinet, or maybe it was in his dresser…

       “If you can’t find any, I’ll just rip off the shirt you’re wearing and use that,” Akihiko teases. Yeah, it is definitely too early for this. His brain is still tired enough to imagine Akihiko pushing him down onto his bed, climbing on top of him, pulling his shirt off frantically. Shinji shakes his head and continues rifling through his medicine cabinet. For a second there he almost forgot what he was even looking for. Bandages, right, focus on the task at hand. There’s some shaving cream, a half used up tube of toothpaste, some regular-sized band-aids… He stares blankly at the assortment of items for a few seconds. Okay no, none of this is going to be of any use. Shinji hears a soft creak as Akihiko sits down on his bed, humming impatiently. He seems more relaxed than he ought to on someone else’s bed, Shinji notices. There’s no reason it should bother him, they had shared beds before when they were kids.

       Akihiko makes another impatient sound and flops backwards onto his bed, closing his eyes. Shinji looks away and paws frantically at his drawers full of useless crap. This would be a completely normal situation if Akihiko hadn’t made that comment—if Shinji hadn’t imagined _that_. Okay, this needs to end _now_ , Shinji decides. His imaginary Akihiko is slowly pulling off his gloves with his teeth, eyes half-lidded, shifting his weight so that he’s sitting squarely on his hips. 

       It takes a second for Shinji to realize that he’s holding the roll of bandages in his hand. Oh right, he had been digging through his top dresser drawer without even paying attention.

       “Here. You _can_ manage the rest by yourself, right?” Shinji grunts, tossing the bandages to Akihiko.

       “Yeah, thanks,” Akihiko says, catching the bandages easily. It’s too bad his reflexes are so good—Shinji had been trying to hit him in the head.

       “I’m going back to sleep,” he announces, glaring at Akihiko until he removes himself from his bed.

 


	13. Afternoon Nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...nobody was supposed to see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 17th, Afternoon

       Shinji takes a quick look around the common room, double checking that no one else is around. It seems empty as far as he can tell. Everyone is probably busy preparing for that cultural festival or whatever, he supposes. Everyone, that is, except for Koro-chan who is curled up in his usual spot, taking a nap. Perfect. Shinji whistles quietly and Koro-chan perks up and runs over to him.

       “Here, I got you something,” Shinji says, reaching into his coat pocket to pull out a Jack Frost toy with a squeaker in the head. Koro-chan wags his tail excitedly.Shinji gives the toy a few squeaks before tossing it, smiling gently as Koro-chan bounds after it. Koro-chan tosses the toy in the air, pouncing on it when it hits the ground, and then wreaks havoc on the poor squeaker.

       Koro-chan is about the only one Shinji ever truly lets his guard down around, and well, he prefers it that way. Having people too close to his personal bubble has always been uncomfortable for him. It’s just fine, however, to let Koro-chan crawl right into his lap, put his paws up on his shoulders, and lick his face. As long as no one catches him in the act, that is.

       “Good dog,” he says, scratching Koro-chan behind the ears. It’s nice to be able to relax like this for once, no matter how fleeting the moment. He closes his eyes and leans back against the divider, exhaling slowly. Koro-chan curls up, resting his head on Shinji’s knee, and breathes a contented sigh. The warmth is nice, Shinji thinks. He pets Koro-chan idly until his hand eventually stills. It’s so calm and quiet, he can’t help but let his eyes slip closed. Then, just as easily, he drifts off into a gentle sleep, with Koro-chan along with him.

       When he comes to, he hears a quiet jingling sound and feels a presence next to him. Akihiko’s face is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, with a softer expression than usual and he’s _close_. Somehow, it feels so right to wake up with Akihiko next to him that he forgets to be surprised. Instead he’s focused on the subtle shadow of his eyelashes, the curve of his lip, the way the light carves out his features. He almost leans forward to kiss Akihiko right on the mouth out of sheer impulse. _What the fuck?_

       “Did you have a good nap?” Akihiko whispers, just sweetly enough that Shinji isn’t sure if he’s teasing him, or if they’re genuinely having a tender moment. If his limbs weren’t still heavy from sleep, he might have just reached up without thinking to run his fingers over Akihiko’s hair. Why is Akihiko so damn close to him? Why does he want him even closer? Clearly he is not fully awake yet.He isn’t thinking properly.Still…

       “Yeah. It was a good nap,” he replies in a quiet mutter. Akihiko smiles quietly at the answer. Usually, the first thing to greet Shinji when he wakes up is the harsh slap of reality and the crushing weight of his guilt. He has to admit, Akihiko’s smiling face is a pleasant change from that. If only he could always wake up to that sight. Shinji freezes, realizing what he just imagined. Akihiko’s reaches a hand towards him, and Shinji’s heart damn nearly stops. He should bat it away, just in case Akihiko’s doing what Shinji _thinks_ he is. Instead he just lets out a relaxed breath and waits for it. 

       Rather than cupping his cheek fondly, or brushing through his hair, Akihiko simply reaches out and scratches behind Koro-chan’s ear. His affectionate glance shifts to the still sleeping dog, who leans into his touch. Without those steely gray eyes on him, Shinji can suddenly think clearer. He shifts and sits up abruptly, hoping he looks more calm than he feels. He slides Koro-chan off of his lap, trying his best not to wake the sleeping pup in the process. He refuses to make eye contact again.

       Akihiko stands up from his squat.“I didn’t mean to scare you off,” he says in an apologetic tone.It’s soft, as if he’s still afraid of waking Shinji. Shinji ignores it. 

       “Nah...uhm, I was getting up anyway.” He glances at Koro-chan when he whines at the sudden loss of a napping buddy.“But...Koro-chan could still use someone to, y'know, cuddle with if you need an after school nap.”Shinji says, looking pointedly away, “Or whatever,” he adds, leaving before something crazy, like an offer to join him escapes his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot I was supposed to post this chapter today, but here it is!


	14. Keep it Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That doesn't sound like the punching bag...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 18th, Night

       Shinji kicks off his shoes and flops onto his bed, keeping his jacket and hat on. He feels restless, but there’s not much point in loitering around the dorm when everyone else has turned in early. Might as well get ready for bed. Shinji sighs and shuffles over to the sink, already thinking of how good it will feel to rinse the day’s filth from his face. He hears a grunt from the other side of the wall. Akihiko must be training in his room, since they aren’t going to Tartarus tonight.  Typical. It _is_ getting awfully late though, and Shinji can’t help but worry that Akihiko will wear himself out. Shinji considers knocking on the wall, telling him to settle down, but decides against it. He should know his own limits well enough by now that he won’t push himself too hard. Right? Besides, he did seem pretty upset that the storm was going to mess up his training plan. It’s probably best to just leave him be.

       Mmph…Ah!” Akihiko’s panting loud enough that Shinji can hear it through the wall. Shinji’s hand freezes in place as he reaches for the faucet. _Wow, he’s…getting really into it._

_“_ Ahhhh….ngh…” He is _training_ , isn’t he? It’s hard to discern sounds through the wall, especially with the rain outside—that _could_ be the punching bag, but it could also…not be. Shinji’s face reddens. Maybe he shouldn’t be listening to this. Not that there’s much of anything he can do, since the dorm walls are paper thin.

       Of course the obvious solution is to go to the other side of the room, to his own bed, and toss a pillow over his head to ignore the grunts and pants… and moans coming from his neighbor’s room. Well, there’s nothing stopping him from at least continuing on with his evening routine, Shinji decides. He stands there, frozen with a toothbrush under his hand, planted on either side of the sink, trying his damnedest to focus on _anything_ that isn’t Akihiko’s truly commendable vocal performance. It’s not long before Shinji realizes this is a lost cause and has to switch tactics. He envisions Akihiko, the way he looks when they go into battle together, and tries to match that image with the sounds he’s hearing. For awhile, that seems to do the trick. He can reasonably imagine Akihiko throwing punches, grunting in exertion, and so forth. All too soon, however, that image becomes one of Akihiko leaning up against the walls of Tartarus, panting in exhaustion. Before he knows it, it’s not Tartarus he’s imagining, but his own bed, and that’s enough of that, Shinji decides.

       In any case, it’s not really any of his business to begin with. Akihiko can do whatever he wants in his own room, training or…otherwise. It’s not like Shinji is completely innocent either—though he is quieter (at least he sure hopes he is). Of course, that’s not really the point here. He’s just bothered by the mystery of it. He just _has_ to know. If he can just confirm that Akihiko is without a doubt training, then he might be able to put his mind at ease. That’s the only reason he’s standing there, trying to distinguish anything other than his muffled moans. If he could just hear the sound of a punching bag being hit, or him moving around the room, squeaking floorboards as he trained… He hears none of these though. Damn it! But the boy’s so light he barely makes a sound when he moves. Chances are, there’s no squeaking floorboards to be heard, regardless of the situation.

       “Hnng-ahh,” comes another one. It sounds like it’s coming right from the other side of the wall, not across the room. Shinji’s heart does a panicked jump. What is he doing so close?

       Shinji nods to himself slowly, sure that the sound’s nearness doesn’t disqualify training.

       His completely sound reasoning convinces him to move on with his evening routine. It’s finally gotten quieter—maybe Akihiko’s finished with…whatever it is he was doing. Shinji sighs in relief and reaches over to turn on the faucet just as another set of grunts come through, “Ahh-hmm-Shi—,” Shinji’s hand stops, gripping the faucet. The sound of running water silenced Akihiko on the other side of the wall. A shared stillness comes over the two rooms.

_‘Shi-‘? “Shi-“ what? What comes after that syllable?_ What would have come after that syllable if he hadn’t turned on the damned faucet?

       Shinji does nothing for a long moment. The silence persists and he suddenly feels the need to play things cool, even if Akihiko can’t possibly know what he’s doing. He casually brushes his teeth, gargles some mouthwash, and ignores his heart pounding in his throat. ‘ _Shi-‘ what?_

       There’s shuffling from the other room that Shinji can vaguely make out over the water, then silence again. Shinji splashes cold water over his face, because, damn it, it’s really red for some reason!

       The silence persists and Shinji shuffles over to his bed, still bothered by that last noise. It was probably just a sound, not the beginning to anything. He’s just being weird to think it could possibly be the beginning of anything. Nothing else was words. What did he even _think_ he was saying? Not _his name_ or anything like that!

       And now that it’s on his mind, the idea of _not training_ sounds more and more appealing to him. But he can’t—not when he’s so aware of his friend just on the other side of the wall. Certainly not when he can hear…whatever it is he’s been hearing. Even if he is just working out, it still seems wrong.

       Shinji is lying in bed, all the lights are off, and he is convinced that Akihiko was working out.He was just grunting random noises, as is completely normal while training. He’s absolutely positive as he closes his eyes, and ignores any little bit of is mind that might want to say otherwise. He’s about to fall asleep.

_‘What if he was about to say ‘Shinji’, though?’_

 


	15. Baby, You're My Forever Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 19th, Morning

      “What are you doing up?” Akihiko asks quietly. The kitchen so conspicuously silent that Shinji is startled even by that near whisper. Even in the darkness Akihiko almost seems to glow, the way the light catches on him.

      “Couldn’t sleep…came down to get some water,” Shinji mumbles.

      “Here, you can finish mine,” Akihiko says, sweet smile covering for what Shinji interprets as a more mischievous intent.

      Akihiko watches, fixated, as Shinji downs the glass. It’s a little bit hard to see, but Shinji knows he’s not imagining the way Akihiko runs his tongue slowly, deliberately along his bottom lip. His mouth goes dryer than it was to begin with.

      “Come on, let’s go,” Akihiko interjects.

      “Go where?” Shinji asks, confused.

      “For a walk. You wanted to, right?” Akihiko says, as if it should be obvious.

      “Right, yeah,” Shinji finds himself agreeing for some reason. Akihiko beams at him and takes his hand. It’s such a natural motion that Shinji almost doesn’t realize what’s happened. He can’t think of a very good reason to let go either.

      Akihiko leads them down the usual path to the shrine. He’s a little relieved that there’s no one around to see them—only a few coffins, lurking in the darkness here and there.

      “It’s just us, Shinji,” Akihiko whispers, giving Shinji’s hand a gentle squeeze, “We’ve got this time all to ourselves.”

      “Yeah,” Shinji agrees, surprised when his voice shakes just a little bit. He squeezes Akihiko’s hand back.

      “You know, I don’t really mind the dark hour,” Akihiko says, pausing to look Shinji in the eye, “If it means another hour I can spend with you.”

      “Aki…what are you saying?” Shinji rasps out.

      “I’m saying I want to be with you forever,” Akihiko says plainly, looking Shinji straight in the eye. He lets the full implication of that statement sink in.

      “I…can’t,” Shinji turns away.

      “Shinji, please,” Akihiko pleads, grabbing onto his coat collar. The streetlights buzz and flicker erratically. A loud, cold gust of wind blows through the alley.

      “I don’t have a forever to give,” he admits. Akihiko goes quiet, leans his head into Shinji’s chest.

      “You’ve got right now, don’t you?” he says, voice slightly muffled.

      “I…”

      “Will you give it to me?”

      “Give you—” Shinji’s words are cut off by Akihiko’s mouth on his.

      “You don’t have a lot of time left, right?” he says between kisses, “Don’t hold back” Akihiko’s hand slides up Shinji’s leg and reaches for the waistband of his pants.

 

      Shinji jolts awake. He screws his eyes shut, burning from the morning sunlight. _What the hell was that?_ Akihiko’s lips had felt so real, Shinji finds himself missing them now. _No. No…it was only a dream._ He’s not awake yet, not thinking clearly. All he needs is a cold shower and some coffee, and everything will be normal again.

 

      “What are you doing up?” Akihiko asks. Shinji blinks. Akihiko’s leaning casually against the counter, caught in the bright glare of a sunbeam.

      “I…what?” Shinji sputters. 

      “Just surprised you’re up so early, that’s all,” Akihiko comments, taking a sip from his coffee cup.

      “…Couldn’t sleep,” Shinji grumbles, “Gonna have some coffee.” He half expects Akihiko to hand him his mug to finish. He doesn’t.


	16. Voiceless Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you finished with those errands?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 19th, Evening

      “Heading out?” Akihiko tilts his head back from his seat on the couch, as Shinji makes his way through the common room.

      “Yeah, I’m just going to the pharmacy for some supplies,” Shinji shrugs.

      “Oh, would you mind picking up a few things for me while you’re there?” Akihiko asks.

      “What am I, your errand boy?” Shinji complains, like he won’t just do it anyway.

      “Fine then, I’ll just come with you,” Akihiko decides. That’s surprising, but not unwelcome. Shinji just gives a tired shrug as he turns back towards the door, which is close enough to a sign of approval for Akihiko to follow after him.

      And so, the two walk off to Paulownia Mall together, making quiet conversation along the way.As they browse the aisles, Akihiko sticks rather close to him. It’s definitely unnecessary, and should probably be annoying, but Shinji finds he rather likes it. Maybe it’s just nice being able to do something together that doesn’t involve fighting for once. Something normal. Well, all Shinji is picking up is supplies for battle, but still.

      “Hey Aki, this brand of bandages okay?” Shinji asks, holding up a roll. He might as well consult, since they end up sharing anyway.

      “Yeah those are good,” Akihiko confirms, “The other ones are cheaper, but they’re not as durable. Go with quality.”

      “Right,” Shinji nods, tossing the bandages into the basket that they’re sharing.

      Shinji notices the items that Akihiko has picked out. It’s throat lozenges, some herbal tea, and vitamin supplements.

      “Are you getting sick?” Shinji asks, his tone a little bit accusatory.

      “A little bit,” Akihiko says, waving his hand dismissively, “I’m trying to fight it off before it becomes anything serious.”

      “You should have just said so to begin with,” Shinji grumbles,“I would have told you to stay home.” Akihiko just gives him this look like he knows he could call Shinji out, but he’s choosing not to. Shinji pays for all of their items—or at least he tries to, but Akihiko manages to sneak a few of his own yen into the tray.

      As they walk back, Shinji feels a stray drop hit his shoulder. Then another. Then a few more. 

      “Shit…” Shinji mutters, shaking his head like a wet dog.

      Akihiko steps in closer to him and hunches down a little bit, like Shinji’s height alone is enough to protect him from the rain.

      “Here,” he says, taking the umbrella out if his pocket and handing to Akihiko. Akihiko opens the umbrella and stares at Shinji, who seems to be accepting the rain like some kind of divine punishment.

      “You know, you can get under here with me,” Akihiko offers. Shinji just shrugs. “Come on. Here, you’re taller, so you hold it,” Akihiko insists. Their hands brush a little bit when he takes the umbrella, but Shinji’s already decided he’s not going to think about that sort of thing.

      The sound of the rain drowns out everything else until there’s nothing left but him and Akihiko. It would be so easy to just sling an arm around his shoulders. No one is around, no one will see. Wait, no, that’s not the problem. Shinji tries to will the compulsion out of his mind before it becomes anything more. Still, he realizes he’s waiting for Akihiko to try something like grab his hand. Maybe lightly link his arm around his elbow. Shinji is hyper aware of every small movement Akihiko makes. Except he isn’t making one. Akihiko just stays there, comfortably close. He’s close enough that they should bump together but they aren’t. Shinji realizes he’s not feeling as triumphant about this fact as he should. He’s just a little irritated that he manages to avoid touching him entirely. What? Does he have the goddamn plague or something? Maybe Akihiko’s behavior earlier was just a fluke. Or maybe Shinji had really just imagined it after all. Maybe Akihiko has been acting normal this whole time and Shinji’s the one who’s been making it weird. No, Shinji decides, it’s definitely Akihiko, and he can prove it. Shinji shifts towards Akihiko, certain he’d easily close the gap without suspicion. Akihiko leans away just as he’s leaning in and casually adjusts his jacket. 

      Damn it. 


	17. Robot's Intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha wat do u kno, u r robot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 20th

       “Can you explain the difference between friendship and love? I do not understand.” Aigis asks. Junpei looks at her, wide-eyed and rosy-cheeked, and nervously scratches the back of his head.

       “Um, jeez, Ai-chan…” Junpei stammers, “That’s kind of a really big question.”

       “Are you unable to answer?” Aigis asks, a touch of disappointment in her cold voice.

       “’Course I can, I just need a minute to think about it…” Junpei assures her, all faux-confidence, “Let’s see…when you’re friends with someone, you care about them a lot and you like being with ‘em and stuff, but when you’re in love, your heart beats real fast every time you think of ‘em and like, you want to protect them. Stuff like that. I guess it’s probably a little different for everyone though...”

       “I see…then I will continue to gather information on this subject. Shinjiro-san?” Aigis turns to Shinji.

       “Huh?” he grunts.

       “Do you concur with Junpei-san’s explanation of love?” Aigis asks, her piercing blue eyes demanding an answer.

       “Um….sure…I guess,” Shinji shrugs. This is really not a conversation that he wants to be part of.

       “So then, what you feel for Akihiko-san is—” Aigis starts.

       “Hold on a second,” Shinji interrupts, sitting bolt upright “I think you’ve got the wrong idea here.”

       “Yeah, Ai-chan, Shinjiro-sempai and Akihiko-sempai are both guys, so…” Junpei trails off, hoping the implication is enough.

       “Are you saying feelings of a romantic nature only exist between a male and a female?” Aigis asks, her monotone voice sounding almost accusatory.

       “Well…no, not…,” Junpei fumbles, “Not _necessarily_. It’s just, uh…It just doesn’t happen as much.”

       “I see…” Aigis pauses, with a look like she’s processing the information, “So Shinjiro-san and Akihiko-san share a _special_ kind of love.”

       “HOLD ON,” Shinji sputters, “Let me clear this up right now. Aki and I are friends. We’ve known each other  long time. There’s nothing weird, or…’special’ going on. Okay?” 

       “Understood. Then, can you explain the increase in your heart rates when you are in a close proximity to each other?”

       “The— Now you’re just making shit up!” Shinji accuses.

       Fuuka, who has been sitting silently for the entirety of this conversation, sends him a meaningful look, but continues to say nothing.

       “I assure you, I am only stating objective observations,” Aigis says bluntly.

       “So, Ai-chan, what was that about Akihiko-sempai’s heart racing?” Junpei asks the question that Shinji won’t dare let himself wonder. He sounds about as uncomfortable as Shinji feels.

       “I have observed an average increase of 15 bpm,” Aigis explains, “This is comparable to—“

       “That’s enough!” Shinji interrupts, “It’s because we’re both just itching for a fight. Come on, isn’t that obvious?”

       “Oh, that makes sense, I guess.” Junpei sounds either relieved or disappointed, and Shinji isn’t sure which.

       “I suppose that is a plausible explanation,” Aigis concludes, though she doesn’t sound very convinced.

       “Why do you wanna know about love and shit anyway?” Shinji asks, hoping to divert from this topic, “It’s got nothing to do with fighting.”

       “You are correct, this does not directly affect my combat abilities,” Aigis states, “However I believe it will be easier for me to coexist with humans if I can better understand their behaviors.”

       “I think this topic is a little too complicated for you,” Shinji declares, then fixes Junpei with an especially icy glare, “Both of you.”

       Shinji is definitely _not_ in love with Akihiko. Clearly, there is something going on—some confused mess of teenage hormones and stress and adrenaline rushes—but that’s all. Nothing he can’t ignore.


	18. The Laundry Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The skies are clear and sunny again. Everyone with laundry out on the line can rest assured that it’ll be dry by afternoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 22nd, Evening

       “I’m told you’ll do my laundry,” Akihiko says, voice tinged with something akin to panic. Shinji regards him for a moment—the confused expression, the door carelessly flung open, and finally, the swathe of black ink across his chest. He waits, expecting some kind of explanation,  but apparently that’s all Akihiko has to say for himself after bursting in unannounced. And to think, he’s been pretty good lately about knocking first instead of just barging right in whenever he pleases, but, well, old habits are hard to break, Shinji supposes. At least this time he honestly seems frazzled enough to merit the intrusion.

“…The fuck?” is all Shinji can manage as Akihiko closes the door behind him. Akihiko looks up at him, seeming equally at a loss. Shinji frowns, looking over the large, black stain splattered across Akihiko’s red v-neck. He means to throw Akihiko out right there and then. The last thing he wants is to spend his evening doing someone else’s chores. He’s starting to form a growling demand for his teammate to get the hell out, but the longer his eyes linger on that stain, the more this wrenching feeling in his gut grows. It’s just ink, Shinji _knows_ that, but it looks just enough like a nasty gash across Akihiko’s chest that he can’t help but wince. Not to mention that he can feel the ink setting with each passing second.

       “You just…You can’t let that stain set,” he stammers, “Hurry up and take your shirt off!” The command in his voice has a surprisingly strong effect. Shinji barely has time to be flustered at his own words before Akihiko complies. He doesn’t fail to notice the way Akihiko’s fingers fumble in his rush to get his clothes off. 

       “Here,” Akihiko says plainly, holding out his shirt. Shinji looks at the remaining undershirt and Akihiko’s eyes follow his. The stain has seeped all the way through. Akihiko sighs slightly and shoves the shirt into Shinji’s hands before pulling off the last layer. Shinji’s eyes linger, looking to see if he has ink on his skin too. He certainly would have no other reason to keep his eyes on Akihiko’s pale, flat lower abs after he’d pulled off his shirt.“Here,” Akihiko repeats and Shinji’s eyes snap up to the undershirt being offered to him. Shinji takes this last article of clothing and turns around sharply to head to the sink. He instantly works to stop the stain from spreading then starts trying to lift the ink from the fabric.

       “Do you need help with anything?” Akihiko asks, peering over his shoulder. He probably means well, but he is just way too close. He’s close enough in fact that Shinji can feel his breath when he talks, and his chin is just shy of resting on Shinji’s shoulder. Not to mention he’s definitely half naked. Not that there’s a particularly good reason that Shinji should have a problem with that. They’re both guys after all—hell, they used to bathe together as children, he reminds himself. This shouldn’t really be any different. Maybe Shinji can just ignore this weird, uncomfortable feeling he’s been having. _Just don’t think about it_ , he tells himself. Then Akihiko leans just the slightest bit closer. Shinji can feel the heat radiating from his body like a faint buzz. That’s it. He’s too close and too naked and Shinji needs him to back off. Now.

       “You’re in the way. Just…go over there,” Shinji grunts, waving his hand in some vague direction.

       “Yeah, fine,” Akihiko concedes. Then he goes and casually sits down on Shinji’s bed of all places. That shouldn’t be weird either, except the line between the real Akihiko and his imaginary Akihiko is getting dangerously blurred right now. This whole situation seems like one of the weird dreams he’s been having. And now, he almost feels as if the very real and very shirtless Akihiko on his is bed might start climbing on top of him just as casually as he had sat down there. The very thought sends a blush to his face, and he clutches at the fabric in his hands. This is going to be fine, he just needs to focus on the task at hand. _Good thing this is a synthetic blend fabric_ , he thinks as he dabs at the stain, _it won’t absorb the pigment as much as a natural fiber_. Slowly, carefully, he blots up the ink, determined not to let his concentration waver.

       “…And when I asked Takeba what she was practicing calligraphy for, she got all panicked and wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Not sure what that was all about,” Akihiko says. Shinji barely registers that Akihiko is talking. He just grunts in response and continues dabbing at the shirt with a rag, the stain gradually beginning to fade. This stage is crucial, so it’s probably best if he just tunes out Akihiko completely, he decides. He pours some detergent onto the stain and lets it sit, moving on to the undershirt.

       Despite his best efforts, Shinji can still hear Akihiko talking—some sort of weirdly contrived sounding explanation. Akihiko seems just as puzzled by this whole situation as he is. He seems to be giving some sort of rambling explanation for why he came to Shinji with this problem, but Shinji isn’t paying enough attention to make any sort of sense out of it. Anyway, it’s not like he can argue that he’s the best person for the job. He’s gotten plenty of experience, through blood stains and rough times. That doesn’t change the fact that he really needs Akihiko to just shut the fuck up and stop reminding him he’s sitting, half way to naked on his bed. Shinji focuses on the stain in an undue intensity. He absorbs himself in washing and refuses to listen to snippets of the explanation going on behind him, or glancing at Akihiko in his periphery. He’s actually a bit impressed with himself when he’s able to completely block Akihiko out. He doesn’t even hear him by the time he’s done washing the shirts.

       “Here, I’m all done,” Shinji announces gruffly, “they just need to dry.” No response. Did Akihiko just leave without him noticing? Maybe he’s actually mastered the art of ignoring Akihiko in some sort of laundry moment of zen. He risks a glance back at the bed for the first time since he’d first seen him sit down. Akihiko is still there, in his bed, half-naked and asleep.

       “Get up,” he grunts, draping the shirts over a little rack for towels as he heads over. No response. He reaches to shake Akihiko’s shoulder, but stops his hand halfway. Instead, he just kicks the bed, shaking it a bit with his foot. Still no response. Akihiko is out cold, even snoring softly. The first option is to just leave him there and sleep somewhere else. Shinji would really rather not. He could shove him over and sleep next to him. Actually no, Shinji decides, that’s is most certainly not an option. _Well…this kid might as well weigh nothing_ , Shinji thinks. Carrying him back to his own room should be a simple enough task. Third option it is, then. Shinji leans over the bed, resting his weight on one knee and scoops Akihiko up in his arms. It’s exactly as easy as he’d imagined. As if on instinct, Akihiko leans his head into Shinji’s shoulder, and his hand loosely grips at his shirt. Equally on instinct, Shinji pulls Akihiko a little closer, and leans his head down to rest on Akihiko’s. It’s…kind of nice. Akihiko’s body is radiating warmth, and he smells pretty good too.

       Shinji’s heart pounds heavy like a hammer in his chest. _Oh. Oh no._ His arms suddenly feel weak. Akihiko hits the bed with a _thwump_ , but it’s not enough to wake him, apparently. He just mumbles a bit, seeming perturbed by the sudden emptiness in his arms, and rolls over, grasping at a pillow in Shinji’s place. Shinji sighs and pinches the crease between his brows. Back to the first option it is. He takes his blanket and tosses it haphazardly over the sleeping boy, pauses for a moment, and shakes his head. He tries to leave it, but with yet another sigh, he carefully straightens the blanket out so that Akihiko is nice and neatly tucked in. He narrows his eyes and stares at Akihiko, curled up and comfortable, and not looking the slightest bit out of place. It’s not like Akihiko takes up _that_ much space. Shinji could lie down right next to him and fit just perfectly. It is _his_ bed after all. Shinji should be able to sleep in his own bed, it’s just right. Akihiko is the one who got into his bed and fell asleep all on his own, so Akihiko is the one at fault here. Right, so if Akihiko wakes up and has a problem with the situation, well that’s just too damn bad. Shinji sits down on the edge of the bed. Akihiko mumbles something incoherent and rolls onto his side, softly rubbing his face into Shinji’s pillow, still holding it affectionately. Okay no, this isn’t happening. The couch is a perfectly fine place to sleep, Shinji decides.

   

 


	19. Not What It Looks Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after (the laundry incident).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 23rd, Morning

       The couch, Shinji discovers, is  _not_ a perfectly good place to sleep. In fact, this is turning out to be the worst night’s sleep Shinji has gotten in awhile, and that’s really saying something. Okay, so it’s probably not the couch itself that’s to blame—it isn’t too terribly uncomfortable, and he’s had plenty of nice midday naps here. There’s just no way he can sleep given the circumstances. Every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is Akihiko lying in his bed, curling up in his blanket, nuzzling his pillow. As soon as he banishes that mental image, it’s replaced by the memory picking Akihiko up. Holding him in his arms. He can practically feel Akihiko’s hand grabbing at the front of his shirt, sliding up his chest, sneaking around his neck. He thinks about Akihiko’s late night “training” and the muffled sounds coming through the walls. He thinks about his dream, Akihiko’s hands reaching ever lower. Worst of all, he thinks about waking up to Akihiko’s gentle expression. If he had just stayed in his room, gotten into bed with Akihiko, he’d be able to see that face again. Unable to chase the thoughts from his mind, Shinji attempts to burrow into the couch cushions. It’s a futile effort. Everything seems so cold without the warmth of Akihiko’s body.

       Shinji spends most of the night tossing and turning, trying and failing to rid himself of all Akihiko-related thoughts. He manages at best a few sporadic hours of sleep, interspersed with very unwelcome dreams. The morning light greets him all to soon. He sits up and groggily rubs his eyes. The prospect of facing Akihiko now is not something he is looking forward to. However, the idea of explaining his situation to anyone else in the dorm is even less appealing.

       Shinji sighs and plods back to his room. If he’s lucky, Akihiko will already be gone. Of course, luck is never on his side, and there’s Akihiko sitting up on his bed and yawning. His hair looks pleasantly tousled, Shinji notes.

       “Well, at least _one_ of us was able to get a good night’s sleep,” Shinji remarks mirthlessly.

       “Sorry, you should have just kicked me out,” Akihiko replies, sounding annoyingly well-rested.

       “I tried,” Shinji informs him with a glare, “No use.”

       “Oh…sorry about that,” Akihiko apologizes, sounding not nearly sorry enough in Shinji’s opinion, “I’m a pretty heavy sleeper.”

       “I noticed,” Shinji grunts, “Maybe just try not to be unconscious in my bed.” Akihiko frowns, but then a more mischievous look takes over.

       “I didn’t think you’d have such a problem with it. I mean, you _did_ offer to snuggle with me before,” Akihiko teases. Shinji feels the heat rise to his face a like a kettle reaching a boil.

       “Just leave!” Shinji sputters. He grabs Akihiko’s clean clothes in a huff and just about launches them at him. Before Akihiko can protest, Shinji opens the door and gives him a rough shove. Akihiko stumbles out into the hallway and Shinji slams the door behind him. Shinji clutches at his chest, feeling way too out of breath from this whole incident.

       He hears a muffled voice through the wall. “Hey sempai, what’s going…on…”

       Junpei’s voice is exactly the last thing he wants to hear at the moment.

 


	20. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "On the counter? Really, guys?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 24th, Evening

       Ten. That’s ten times Akihiko has rolled his shoulders at in the past five minutes. Not that Shinji has been keeping track, or anything. It’s just that lurking around the common area is getting boring and he needs  _something_ to look at. Akihiko stretches his arms above his head, muscles twitching with the exertion. He lets out a strained breath as he laces his fingers and reaches his arms out in front of him. Shinji hears all of his joints crack, one after the other. Then comes another roll of the shoulders—that’s eleven, which Shinji decides is definitely one too many. All the late night fighting is clearly taking a toll on his body.

       “You’re tense,” Shinji states as casually as possible, concern masked by his usual gruff tone.

       “Yeah, no kidding.” Akihiko continues rolling his shoulder, a hand half heartedly rubbing at the sore muscle. Shinji frowns at the futile attempt.

       “Damn it,” Shinji grunts sharply. Akihiko looks over questioningly, pausing his motions. “Are you going to be doing that all night?” Shinji asks leveling an accusatory glare at the other teen.

       “Uh, probably,” Akihiko replies, clearly confused at the volatile reaction.

       “Fine, then-.” Shinji stands up suddenly from the bar. Akihiko watches him, eyebrow quirked, but doesn’t object when Shinji’s hands dust his away. He gets a firm grip over Akihiko’s shoulder and presses his thumb in hard. Akihiko tenses apprehensively, and lets a gasped breath escape, despite himself. Feeling encouraged by that reaction, Shinji digs in, feeling the tense muscles under his hands. He can’t quite get to the knot effectively though, so he shifts his position to press the heel of his hand into Akihiko’s back. All he really manages to do however, is shove him forward with every push. It’s getting a little frustrating. Why can’t he just stay in place? At least Akihiko still sounds like he’s enjoying the back rub, judging by the little pleased noises that are coming from him.

       Shinji grunts, and Akihiko barely gets his mouth open for a question when he’s pulled right out of his chair.

       “What the hell are—“ Akihiko falls instantly silent as he’s shoved over the counter, roughly. Shinji doesn’t bother with an explanation—he’s not sure what he would say if he tried—he just rolls the heel of his hand over the sore spot. “Mmm-okay,” Akihiko mutters in acceptance.

       It’s much easier to get proper leverage from this angle, but he’s still having trouble getting to the muscles like he wants. Shinji frowns at the fabric shifting under his fingers. This would probably be easier if Akihiko wasn’t wearing that stupid sweater vest. More importantly, if would be easier if wasn’t doing… _that_. 

       “Yeah, right there,” Akihiko hums every time Shinji hits the right spot—which is often now that he has him bent over like this.

       The vest at least, he can take care of. He reaches around Akihiko’s front, feels around for the buttons and fumbles to get them undone.

       “Sh-Shinji…?” Did he just stutter?

       Shinji practically tears the vest from his body and tosses it aside.

       Akihiko pants wordlessly and looks up at him like he’s expecting something. Shinji isn’t quite sure what that something is, but he feels his cheeks heat up from the look. Suddenly, he’s very aware that he has Akihiko over a counter, and just yanked a layer of clothes off him, and his heart is beating way too fast. 

       He grinds his thumbs in, hard.

       “Fuck! Shinji…” Akihiko winces. That certainly wiped the expectant look off his face.

       “What, that too rough for you?” Shinji smirks, running his knuckles up the curve of his spine.

       “…No,” he says between gasps, “Don’t stop.” This has clearly backfired. Part of him wants to take that vest and gag him with it, but the rest of him is curious just how loud he can make Akihiko yell. He kneads Akihiko’s flesh, willing his hands not to tremble.

       A rush of adrenaline courses through him with every sound. Shinji’s starting to feel like this situation getting out of control and he’s not sure how to stop himself anymore. If he lets himself get carried away, he’s not sure what might happen. He’s afraid to even let himself imagine. But he’s got Akihiko pushed down in front of him, making sounds that are remarkably like the ones he’d heard through the wall, and looking oh so ready for whatever Shinji is going to do next. Shinji draws in a shaky breath, pressing a firm stroke along the whole expanse of Akihiko’s back. His hands are starting to tremble—certainly from the strain, and not any kind of nervous excitement. He leans over, one arm on the counter to brace himself, and presses an elbow into Akihiko’s shoulder. Akihiko mumbles something incoherent and broken sounding, fingers clutching the far end of the counter.

       Shinji hears the distinct sound of heels clacking in the tile floor, but it doesn’t register until his eyes are locked with Mitsuru’s. She raises an eyebrow, hand on her hip, and fixes him with an icy glare. Shinji feels the blood drain from his face, realizing how this situation must look. Mitsuru simply shakes her head, and then turns to walk away, leaving Shinji mortified.

       The silence persists for what might as well be an eternity. Shinji tenses as the last few minutes flash before his eyes with a sudden sobriety. There’s nothing he wants more than to run, to shout this isn’t was it seems. Nothing except maybe to get one last good gasp out of Akihiko. The worst part, is that he’s _not_ running. He’s still pressed practically flush up against Akihiko, but he’s frozen in place, elbow losing imperative. Akihiko gives a quiet little sigh, and Shinji can feel his breathing settle. 

       Akihiko’s shoulders shift uncomfortably under Shinji’s elbow, which is now digging aimlessly between his shoulder blades. Shinji yanks his elbow back, automatically giving the spot an apologetic rub as he pulls away. 

       “You know,” Akihiko starts, breaking the tense silence. He slowly pushes himself up as Shinji backs a few cautious steps away, “this would be most effective right after a cool down.” Shinji gapes at the casual comment. Had he not noticed Mitsuru?Did he just not care that she saw? Maybe he’s just to oblivious to read into the situation in the first place. Ordinarily he’d accept that explanation, but he could swear that Akihiko’s cheeks are a little redder than usual, despite his calm tone. It’s probably just from all that damn gasping and moaning he was doing, but then again, that look he’d given him when he pulled his vest off had felt like something.

       Shinji is still midway through processing that thought when the full implication of Akihiko’s last comment hits him. Is he saying he wants to do this again? Is Akihiko really asking him to repeat this entire encounter? After a _cool down_ , when he’s still out of breath and drenched with sweat, pliant flesh just _waiting_ for Shinji’s hands…

       Shinji’s face begins to heat up, all the blood that had drained from his face earlier rushing right back. There’s still a chance that he’s misreading this whole situation, Shinji reminds himself. Akihiko is probably just thinking about this from his muscles’ point of view—everything is about training to him, after all.

        Akihiko fidgets as he waits for a response, shifting awkwardly on his feet and running a hand through his hair. As much as Shinji wants to reach over and follow suit, he just can’t. That’s too far.

       Instead, he sticks his hands in his pockets and grunts, “Don’t get used to it.” For just a moment, Akihiko looks honestly disappointed. He shrugs, putting on a little smile, as if pleased he got the back rub he did. Shinji leaves, before he’s tempted to wipe that smile off his face, because all his ideas for how to do that right now simply aren’t acceptable.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little later than it was supposed to be! We were doing some last minute edits to ensure it would be of proper quality ;)


	21. The Wrong Damn Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (which might be the very correct idea)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 25th, Morning

       Shinji knows something is up the moment Mitsuru makes eye contact with him from across the common room. He thoroughly regrets not having the proper sense to turn heel and bolt right then. Now she’s walking up to him with her hands on her hips and an all-knowing gleam in her eyes, and it’s far too late to make a casual exit.

       “So…you and Akihiko…I’m glad you two figured things out.” She’s got that proud mom kind of tone to her voice and it’s kind of pissing him off. Also…wait, what? 

       “…The hell are you talking about?” Shinji grunts.

       She leans in like they’re sharing some kind of secret and lowers her voice to say, “I…heard about what happened from Iori, but it seems like you two have made up.” Shinji groans audibly. He should have known that Junpei would go blabbing to the entire dorm about that misunderstanding from the other morning. Should have known and _stopped_ him. Instead he has to deal with Mitsuru thinking that he and Akihiko had some sort of lovers spat and then… _resolved it_ on the dining room counter. Not that the truth is any less embarrassing.

       “Well, you both got the wrong damn idea!” Shinji snaps. He might have sounded more convincing if his voice didn’t just crack there. Mitsuru takes a step back, as if from the force of Shinji’s outburst.

       “So…you haven’t worked things out yet?” she raises a hand to her chin, brows furrowed in concern as she looks up at him.

       “NO! I mean…there’s nothing to work out! Just forget it!” Shinji stammers, throwing his arms up in frustration.

       “…I see. So that’s how it is,” she says thoughtfully.

       “I’m telling you, you’ve got it all wrong!” Jeez, what is it going to take to convince her this whole thing was a misunderstanding? Mitsuru crosses her arms, regarding him silently for a moment, and then nods.

       “Right, I understand,” she says sternly,“Oh, and Shinjiro? It would be best not to wait too long.” 

       “Hmmph.”

 


	22. Crab Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only shaped like a crab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 25th, Dark Hour

       Shinji promised himself he wouldn’t give in to weird nostalgia-based impulses, and yet here he is, in the Gekkoukan High lobby, desperately hoping nobody recognizes him and makes him do something absurd like _go to class_. He approaches the counter with his best approximation of stealth, relieved when the cashier greets him normally. She tells him the day’s bread selection, when she catches him eyeing the crab bread, she comment on how lucky he is that he got here before they sold out. And then the memories hit him. Lazy afternoons spent on the rooftop, plucking off starchy crab legs to share with Akihiko. How they’d fight over who got the claws, even though it’s all really the same. He sighs. Those days are long gone, so it’s useless to think of them now. The crab breads, however, are right there in front of him, all in a row and staring up at him innocently. They seem somehow cuter than he remembers. 

***

       “I can’t believe I’m this tired,” Akihiko pants as he slumps over, trying to catch his breath. There aren’t any particularly powerful shadows out tonight, at least so far, but there sure as hell are a lot. Shinji takes notice of all the small scrapes and bruises covering Akihiko’s body. They should probably call it a night. Akihiko hadn’t taken any serious damage, but he’d be in trouble if an enemy managed to sneak up on them. Shinji feels a pang of worry at the thought. There has to be something he can do. He doesn’t have any medical powder or anything, oh, but he does have _that._ That’s right…the crab bread he bought impulsively earlier in the day because, well, it’s kind of cute looking. It’s still in his coat pocket. If Akihiko eats it, he might regain enough energy to make it through a surprise attack. Shinji reaches into his pocket, then hesitates. Wait, is it weird for him to give Akihiko something like this? He doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea or anything. There’s already been weird rumors going around and Akihiko is definitely catching wind of them. Will he read something into this? Shinji nervously clutches at the bread in his pocket. Well…this isn’t the time to be worried about that.

       “I didn’t buy this specifically for you,” he grunts as he shoves the bread out at Akihiko suddenly. He realizes he probably should have explained what he was thrusting at him before the self conscious blurt, but it was too late now.

       Akihiko starts a bit at the sudden hand, but quickly recovers and just…stares at the bread being offered to him. He doesn’t even move to take it, or refuse it. He’s just looking at it with an expression that Shinji can’t figure out. Is he staring because he’s reading something into it after all? Or maybe he’s insulted that Shinji doesn’t think he could make it through the night.

       For a moment Shinji thinks he’s going to take it, as his hand lifts up a bit. Instead, he just ends up mindlessly pulling it to his chest, mouth slightly open as if he’s considering saying something, but nothing comes out. Shinji’s nerves start to get the best of him, even though it’s only been a few seconds. He’s worried his hand will start to shake if he leaves it out there any longer. He considers eating it, just to be rid of the problem. If he doesn’t want it he could just say so, but he really does need the bread to keep up his energy.

       “Just take it,” Shinji grumbles, shoving the bread forward and into his mouth, which was his own damn fault for leaving it open like that. Akihiko is startled for a moment, but then smiles around the crab bread in his mouth and nods, turning to head off to the next battle.


	23. Marin Karin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's...petting the dog...I gotta take him back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 26th, Dark Hour

       “Shinjiro-sempai’s been charmed! Someone use a dis-charm!” Fuuka shouts. Shinji’s vision swims and his head feels heavy. He swings his axe at some vague shape. His body seems to be moving based on pure instinct, and he barely knows what’s going on. 

       “Shinji, get ahold of yourself!” The voice definitely sounds familiar, but Shinji’s mind is too muddled to place it. All he knows is that it’s seriously pissing him off. He raises his axe above his head and takes another clumsy swing. His weapon connects with something very solid, likely the ground, and the shockwave makes his whole body buzz. He falls to his knees, struggling for breath.

       “The battle is over, you’ve won,” comes Fuuka’s voice, with unreasonable clarity. Shinji still feels dizzy and everything he sees seems to sparkle. With the enemy shadow defeated, the urge to bludgeon is gone, but he’s still struggling to feel normal again.

       “You okay there?” Akihiko asks. His voice sounds distant and distorted even though he’s standing right next to him, “I don’t have anything to put you back to normal, but it was easier just to kick their asses anyway.”

       “S’fine,” he slurs, forming words incredibly difficult, “Just…one sec…” It’s not that he’s having trouble standing, it’s just that every bone in his body feels like jelly. He leans against the wall and slides down, practically melting to the floor. Koromaru licks his hand and whines, looking concerned. Somehow the pup is even cuter than usual. Maybe it’s the new armor? There’s one thing that’s bothering him though…

       “Why doesn’t Koro-chan have boots?” he asks, voice as serious as ever (or at least trying to be). No one knows how to respond, so Shinji just continues, “Everyone else gets boots. It’s just doesn’t seem fair!” Akihiko and their leader exchange a glance, but neither can find anything to say. Shinji turns back to Koro-chan, squishing his face affectionately. “Do ya want some little doggie booties? I bet you do, right?” Koro-chan barks. “I don’t know what that meeeaaans. I’m not the robot chick, I can’t understand you!” Shinji throws his arms around the dog in some manner of apology, and buries his face in his soft fur.

       “Hey…Fuuka?” Akihiko’s voice sounds vaguely worried. He must share Shinji’s concern about Koro-chan’s lack of appropriate footwear. Of course, he must be asking Fuuka if she knows a place to get doggie boots.

       “Yeah. Bring him back, Akihiko-sempai.” Oh good. Fuuka has some booties, Shinji concludes.

       Akihiko walks over to Shinji and lugs him up. “Okay, Shinji, time to get you home,” he says. Shinji tries to get out of him where Fuuka had found boots so quick. Akihiko doesn’t have any very good answers, but that’s okay. He has an arm around the shorter teen and that helps his jelly bones situation. He’s warm too. That’s nice. Shinji is feeling especially cold right now, so he leans in closer. His head slumps down, face next to the side of Akihiko’s by the time they make it out of Tartarus. 

       “You smell nice, like…really nice,” he murmurs.

       “Yeah, yeah…” Akihiko isn’t taking him seriously. He’s trying to tell him serious stuff. He’s being more standoffish than usual. Shinji wonders if he’s pissed at him for getting charmed. 

       “Hey, Aki…” He tries again.

       “What?” Akihiko asks, sounding impatient.

       “It’s cold, I’m cold,” Shinji whines.

       “You’re wearing a jacket…”He remarks, as if Shinji might have forgotten.

       “Still cold. Will you warm me up?” He tries to lean back in closer, stealing more of his body heat.

       “…You’ll be just fine, Shinji.” He stiffens and pulls away a little. Akihiko is being stingy with his body heat.

       “No I won’t,” Shinji whines indignantly, “You’re the one who wanted to snuggle on the roof.” Looking back on the incident, he can’t quite remember why he had turned down the offer then. That night had been just as cold that night as this one, hadn’t it?

       “I—You’re the one who said that,” Akihiko stammers and looks a little red; he’s clearly too warm and should share.

       “So what? Why won’t you?” Shinji is getting frustrated.

       Akihiko sucks in a deep breath and says, “You’re charmed, Shinji. You won’t remember any of this later.” Shinji can’t figure out what his status ailment has to do with cuddling.His grumbling continues all the way back to the dorm, and Shinji’s not sure how or when they got inside, since he was too busy clinging to Akihiko.

       The stairs feel like an insurmountable obstacle, and the only saving grace is Akihiko’s arms firmly around Shinji’s waist as he lugs him up each one. It’s a closeness he misses as soon as they reach the second floor and Akihiko lets go.

       “Aki…” Shinji protests anew.

       “Just focus on clearing your mind,” Akihiko insists, ignoring Shinji’s urgent requests for warmth. 

       “Akiii…” He whines again, not really concerned about what Akihiko’s saying. He has more important things to talk about.

       “Shinji.” Akihiko finally replies sounding downright exhausted.

       “Gimme a goodnight kiss,” Shinji says, changing his tactics. Akihiko hesitates, pausing in his tracks.

       “No,” he says firmly, and continues on. They’re at the door and Shinji has to let go if he stops talking. That sounds cold, Akihiko is warm. He keeps following his fuzzy headed instincts.

       “Come ooooon,” Shinji grumbles impatiently. He drops his body weight over Akihiko’s shoulder, his cheek is pressed against Akihiko’s temple as he whines. Akihiko slips out from under him faster than his sluggish mind can think to grab hold and keep him there.

       “I’m going back to my own room, can you manage?” He says from a few quickly taken steps away.

       “…No.” Shinji insists, furrowing his brow seriously and trying to convey how truly wrong it is that Akihiko is so far away from him. Shinji already feels the precious heat fading from where he used to be pressed up against Akihiko.

       “Well, I’m going anyway,” Akihiko says, sighing. Something occurs to Shinji as he watches Akihiko retreat. If he’s so cold, and he has a full jacket, Akihiko must be frozen in just his short-sleeved shirt and vest. Suddenly, he is overwhelmed with concern that Akihiko will catch a cold in his current state. 

       “Fine,” he says with determination, “At least take my hat. You’ll need it more than me.” Akihiko frowns, like he isn’t going to bother to figure out Shinji’s logic. He simply accepts the hat and the serious, but wobbly nod from his teammate.

       Now that he’s assured that Akihiko won’t freeze to death, Shinji flops down on his bed, burrowing into the covers. Without Akihiko there to share his warmth, however, Shinji is far less convinced that he himself won’t freeze to death. Still, his muddled mind finds sleep easily.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a little worried when I realized there aren't any shadows in the first block of Tziah that can cause a charm status ailment, but I figure it's possible for them to just be training on an earlier level. (It's also possible to cause the charm ailment on party members if Minato uses Frolic.) We did definitely take a lot of creative liberties with how being charmed actually works, so I hope everyone can accept that and join in our fun.  
> -KingBeluga


	24. hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 27th, Sunday Afternoon

       Shinji vaguely wonders where his hat went when he’s getting dressed in the morning, but doesn’t think much of it. It’s probably fallen behind his bed, or gotten buried in a pile of clothes or something, and he can’t be bothered to search for it. His hair doesn’t look too disorderly today, not that it  _really_ matters. Still, he does feel a little bit naked without it—a little cold, too. Well, whatever, he’s not going to worry about it—he expects it’ll turn up eventually. 

       He does _not_ expect to see it sitting brazenly atop of Akihiko’s head when he walks into the common room. He’s not imagining things, right? That is most certainly _his_ hat the other boy’s wearing. If there is anything in this world that Shinji is sure of, it’s what his own damn hat looks like. What he can’t understand is what it’s doing on Akihiko’s head. In all his life he has never known Akihiko to wear hats, so why now, and why _his_ hat? Is he just having a bad hair day or something? He hardly even has any hair to mess up in the first place. Is Akihiko even the type to get self conscious over that sort of thing? Shinji decides that possibility is highly unlikely. He might just be cold, Shinji thinks. That’s right, Akihiko’s hair is short, so his head must get cold faster. He probably got cold, saw Shinji’s hat just laying around, and put it on without thinking anything of it. That’s all. It’s only a hat, and the fact that it happens to be Shinji’s hat and Akihiko happens to be the one wearing it doesn’t necessarily _mean_ anything, right? They’re friends. They live in the same dorm. It’s normal to share things occasionally. 

       Besides, it’s just a hat. It’s not as if Akihiko has started sneaking into his room and stealing all his shirts or anything. Shinji doubts that would ever be a problem, if for no other reason than because Akihiko is so much smaller than him. If Akihiko put on any of his clothes, he’d just look…ridiculous. By the time Shinji realizes how dangerous this train of thought it’s already too late—imaginary Akihiko is making another appearance in his mind, clad in one of Shinji’s sweaters. The collar hangs loosely around his neck, exposing just a bit of collarbone, and the long sleeves drape over his hands. Okay, that might be a little cute. If Akihiko wants to borrow his clothes, let him.

       Shinji shakes his head, realizing that he’s just been standing there for a little too long. The figment of his imagination leaves, but the real Akihiko is still sitting there, wearing Shinji’s real hat. He should probably acknowledge him, at least.

       “Hey,” he grunts, trying to sound casual.

       “Hey. Going out?” Akihiko replies with genuine nonchalance.

       “Yeah…” Shinji gives the hat one more pointed look, and then looks Akihiko straight in the eye. Should he say something? Is Akihiko going to say anything?

       “Alright, see you later,” he says with a noncommittal wave. No mention of the hat at all. Shinji just grunts and leaves. He adds this event to his list of things he just has to fucking accept.

       He really needs the fresh air right now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hat


	25. Last Resort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where's a revival bead when you need one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 28th, Dark Hour

       Shinji scratches his head, trying to make sense of his surroundings. The gilded corridors of  Tziah all look the same, so it’s not much use trying to figure out his location, he supposes. Still, where is the rest of the team?

       “…Oh my goodness!” Fuuka’s shout rings through his head, “You’ve all been separated somehow!” She sounds completely panicked, as if this doesn’t happen _all the damn time_. As far as Shinji is concerned, this is business as usual. He can hold his own in a fight. Whatever. So what if the monsters are getting stronger? He can handle it. He always has. Still, it’s a pain in the ass navigating these hallways alone.  A faint sound echoes from around the corner, just barely audible, but it’s definitely getting louder.  Shinji prepares himself for battle, no time to wonder what it might be. His heavy axe glides through the air, ready to slice through his potential enemy. He stops mid-swing and lets it drop to his side when he realizes it’s Akihiko he’s defending against, not a shadow.

       “Jeez, don’t just jump out like that. I almost punched you in the face,” Akihiko scoffs. He seems unbothered by the fact that Shinji had almost tried to bury his axe in him. At least his aim has never been too good to begin with—something he never expected to be thankful for. Shinji barely notices when Akihiko breaks eye contact to look over his shoulder.

       “Behind you!” Akihiko shouts.

       Shinji turns and swings, but he’s too slow. He struggles back to his feet, trying to get his head to stop spinning so he can see what just hit him. It’s some kind of grotesque form, with chains rattling as it rocks back and forth. He barely registers Akihiko’s form as he rushes past, swinging his fist at the beast. 

       “It’s still alive!” Akihiko yells. His punch barely seems to have phased the creature. Shinji summons Castor and rushes at the Shadow with everything he’s got. The Shadow barely flinches.

       Is this thing just too strong for them? Shinji hates to admit it, but without their leader, there’s probably no hope of defeating it.

       “Aki, let’s get out of here!”

       “No way! I’m just getting started.”

       “Will you stop being an idiot? We can’t fight this thing!”

       “I won’t lose!”

       There’s a sound like glass shattering as an ice attack hits Akihiko. He skids across the floor, body going limp. _Shit_. Is he unconscious? 

       Before Shinji has time to act, the shadow’s body begins to glow, and Shinji is thrown against the wall in a blast of bright light. He’s still conscious, at least, but he can barely open his eyes and _everything hurts_. He spots a briefcase in the corner of the room and rushes over to it. All that’s inside is some fucking money. Useless. Where’s a revival bead when he needs one? And where the _fuck_ is the rest of the team? In any case, he can’t just leave Akihiko lying there. He doesn’t have much fight left in himself, either. At best, he might be able to survive one or two more easy battles, but the odds are not looking good. They need to get out of here _now._

       “Fuuka!” He yells, “I’m taking Akihiko back to the dorm.”

       “O-okay,” she agrees, despite sounding startled, “I’ll transmit the location of the nearest access point. Be careful!” Shinji doesn’t bother to thank her, just scoops up Akihiko in his arms and runs. He tries to lean Akihiko’s head against his shoulder to keep him from shaking around too much, though that might be something of a lost cause. His body is so cold, Shinji notices.

       A green glow catches his eye from down the hall. Good, they’ve almost made it to the access point. _Shit_ , Shinji winces when he notices the colorful shadow looming between them and their way out. He won’t be able to run past it if he’s carrying Akihiko, but he’s not sure he can even survive another battle with a powerful enemy. There’s no other choice, though. All he can do is fight. Shinji braces himself, ready to put Akihiko down and rush into battle, when he hears a loud bark resounding through the halls. It’s Koro-chan! (And their leader.) Fuuka must have sent the other two their location, and asked them to help. Shinji breathes a sigh of relief as the shadow chases after the mutt, leaving their escape path clear.

       “Good boy,” Shinji whispers, as Koro-chan brandishes a knife in his mouth and poises himself for battle. He makes a mental note to cook an extra delicious doggie meal tomorrow, as thanks.

       When he exits Tartarus, he gives Fuuka a half-assed look of acknowledgement, but he doesn’t stop running. He runs at full speed all the way back to the dorm, and by the time he gets Akihiko back to his room, he’s out of breath and everything hurts, but he doesn’t care. He just lays Akihiko down in his bed and then collapses to his knees. Akihiko is still breathing, but he hasn’t woken up yet. Why hasn’t he woken up? Shinji grabs Akihiko’s hand to check his pulse because, well he doesn’t really know what else to do and he has to do _something_. His heart rate seems a bit slow, but maybe that’s just because Shinji’s heart is racing out of control. More importantly, he realizes that Akihiko’s body is still _really fucking cold_ and that can’t be good. He _did_ get hit by some powerful ice attacks, after all. Shinji needs to warm him up, and fast, so he does the most logical thing he can think of—he crawls into bed next to him, and pulls the covers up over them both. He rests his hand on Akihiko’s chest so he can monitor his breathing and heartbeat.

       It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep from falling asleep, especially once Akihiko’s body temperature returns to normal. Shinji’s mind drifts back to the conversation they had on the roof a few weeks ago, the one where they joked about cuddling. Oh god, is that what they’re doing right now? Shinji tenses for a moment, mortified. Of _course_ not, that’s ridiculous. It’s not like he climbed in here because he wanted to or anything. He just needed to make sure Akihiko wasn’t gonna die. That’s perfectly reasonable. There’s nothing more to it than that, even if holding Akihiko’s warm body this close feels just as good as he’s dared to imagine. He’s just relieved, and fucking exhausted, of course it feels nice. Shinji likes to cuddle, damn it, even if Koro-chan is the only one allowed to know. Not that cuddling is what he’s doing now. Hell, Akihiko isn’t even conscious yet. Shinji has better things to worry about than whether he is or isn’t cuddling. How long until the dark hour is over? Twenty more minutes, maybe? Everything is so fucked up during the dark hour, he never really has a good sense of how much time has passed. For all he knows, it’ll never end, and he’ll be here for all of eternity with his arm around Akihiko, wondering if he should find the situation a little more strange than he does.

       He nearly jumps when he feels a hand on his.

       “Shinji…” Akihiko says weakly, managing to get one eye open. Shinji is torn between relief that Akihiko is awake, and panic because _Akihiko is awake_.

       “About damn time,” he says, before succumbing to a yawn.

       “What…happened?” Akihiko asks wearily.

       “You fucking passed out,” Shinji grumbles.

       “Oh…you brought me back here?” He still seems a little disoriented.

       Shinji nods, and Akihiko seems to relax a little, like everything is just fine now. 

       “I thought I told you not to be so reckless,” Shinji growls, tousling his hair a little roughly.

       “It’s fine…” Akihiko mumbles, leaning his head against Shinji’s shoulder, “I had you to back me up.”

       “No, it’s not fine,” Shinji says, voice tinged with panic, “I couldn’t do shit to protect you, You gotta stop relying on me. What if I hadn’t been there, Aki?”

       “Fuuka would have made sure I got back safely,” he assures him, then adds quietly, “Besides, I did manage to look after myself just fine the whole time you were gone, you know.” Shinji feels like screaming because there are just _so_ many things wrong with what he’s just said. He should scold him, for putting himself in danger, for refusing to take his own safety seriously. Because a few broken ribs hardly qualify as “just fine”. And most of all, that after all the time he asked Shinji to come back and fight by his side again, Akihiko would tell Shinji to just abandon him.

        There’s so much yelling he wants to do, but he is just so. Tired. Too tired to get out a proper lecture. Too tired to move from Akihiko’s bed.

       “Idiot,” is all he can manage to whisper before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The shadow they fight is a Jotun of Power, if anyone was wondering about that)


	26. Disheveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tie that tie before I tie it for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 29th, Morning

       There is _no_ way Akihiko is going out in public like that. Shinji won’t let him. His hair is sticking up in all directions, his vest is buttoned unevenly, and his stupid little tie is in some sort of mess that does not even slightly resemble a bow. He looks like hell.

       “Aki…seriously…have you looked in a mirror today?” Shinji snorts.

       “Nope,” Akihiko replies, voice hoarse. He just keeps on walking, like he fully intends on showing up at school looking like that.

       “Hold on,” Shinji spits on his hands and smoothes down his hair.

       “That’s disgusting,” Akihiko comments, but he isn’t really acting like he minds. The way his eyes flutter closed just then is definitely because he could fall asleep at any moment and not because he’s enjoying Shinji’s touch. Right?

       “If people see you looking like that, they’ll get suspicious,” Shinji mutters, shoving his hands back in his pockets.

       “…What are you talking about?” Akihiko asks through a yawn.

       “Y’know…You always look so…proper,” Shinji says, glad he caught himself before saying something much more embarrassing, “If you show up at school looking like such a total mess, people are gonna know something’s up, start asking questions.” Shinji hastily undoes the buttons of Akihiko’s vest, getting flustered despite himself, and fastens them back up correctly. He runs his hand over Akihiko’s chest—to smooth out the fabric, and for no other reason.

       “Can’t have anyone but you worrying about me, huh?” Akihiko comments. Shinji’s just going to let that one slide.

       “Tie your tie, idiot,” he grunts. Akihiko fumbles with the ribbon uselessly. “Tch, forget it. Here.” Shinji takes the ribbon in hand, looping it around carefully.

       “Maybe you should tie your own, too. And you know, actually show up at school for once.” It doesn’t sound like he’s teasing him. He means it.

       “Yeah, good joke. Maybe I should tie this a little tighter.” Shinji doesn’t miss the way Akihiko’s breath hitches when he gives a little tug.

       “We should save that for later. I don’t want to be late after all. I mean, how would _that_ look?” Shinji opens his mouth to say something, but he’s got nothing.


	27. Two Can Play At That Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the game is gay chicken)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 30th, Evening

       Akihiko has _got_ to be making fun of him now, right? Surely the rumors going around the dorm have reached Akihiko’s ears, and instead of dispelling them, he’s going along with it at Shinji’s expense. At least, that’s the only explanation for what Akihiko has been doing all goddamn day. Whenever he walks past, Akihiko slows his stride, pausing to let his hand snag on Shinji’s waist, trailing it across his back. If they’re sitting next to each other, he’ll let their knees touch. Even when they’re having a perfectly normal conversation, Akihiko leans in close, resting a hand on Shinji’s shoulder. This is all happening way too suddenly and frequently to be a coincidence. And yet, Akihiko is acting so nonchalant about everything, like these are all just normal things that they always do. It’s not like the extra attention bothers him, he’s just not really used to so much physical contact with anyone, other than maybe Koro-chan. That and he really wants to know what Akihiko is up to. He can’t shake the distinct feeling that Akihiko is doing all of this just to bully him. He must be waiting for _some_ kind of reaction from Shinji. Does he want him to get angry?   _Or does he want me to reciprocate_ , Shinji wonders, panicked.  He considers just confronting Akihiko about the whole matter, but that seems like it could get embarrassing real fast. Besides, if it is all just a joke, Akihiko will probably just play dumb anyway.

       Shinji sighs, thinking about the lingering feeling of Akihiko’s hand firmly on his shoulder, gentle around his waist, just barely ghosting his fingertips over his hand. It’s bad enough everyone in the dorm already thinks they’re dating, or want to be dating, or whatever it is they think. Well, it _should_ be bad, but it actually hasn’t been. Okay, there’s been a couple of embarrassing incidents, but everyone just seems to accept the notion of them as a couple like some inevitable fact of life. To be fair, his dorm-mates have to put up with some really weird shit on a regular basis, so it seems natural that they accept things anyone else would be taken aback by so easily. If that’s how it is, then Shinji can take all of this in stride too. Hell, he’s gonna beat Akihiko at his own damn game.

       “Hey Aki,” he says, leaning down and snaking an arm around his shoulders. He feels Akihiko relax and lean into his touch in an almost cat-like fashion. Shinji’s heart is already pounding way too fast and he prays Akihiko won’t notice.

       “What’s up, Shinji?” His voice is casual and soft, just loud enough for Shinji to hear.

       “Nothin’. You know if we’re going to Tartarus tonight?” Shinji tries to match the intimate tone, but finds he lacks the smoothness that comes naturally to Akihiko. His words come out as a husky sort of half whisper, but he leans in a little closer to his ear to compensate. He is determined to get a reaction.

       “I don’t think so…our leader just ran off somewhere.” Akihiko turns towards him a little more, bringing their mouths just that much closer. Shinji’s heart skips a beat. Damn it, he’s good at this.

       “Where does that weirdo even go this late at night?” Shinji mutters, starting to wonder if he really can win this game. Akihiko shifts slightly under his arm, and Shinji doesn’t know if he should yank him closer or shove him away. He holds perfectly still, paralyzed by indecision.

       “Beats me. Anyway, if you want to get some training in, you’re welcome to join me,” his tone is downright suggestive.

       “Yeah? I might just take you up on that.” Shinji won’t cave yet. He puts on the best smirk he can manage, though he isn’t sure if it’s flirty at all. He has never tried to be flirty before this.

       “Good. Join me in my room later.” Akihiko slips out from under his arm in a single, smooth, seductive motion that lets Shinji’s hand casually trail over his shoulders and across the back of his neck.

       Shinji feels utterly defeated. He’s clearly nowhere near Akihiko’s level at whatever game it is they’re playing.

       He refuses to lose, though. He’s ready for round two, he tells himself. He’ll definitely win this time. He gives himself a good ten minutes to calm down, just to be safe. He has to be psychologically prepped, like for a battle. For all intents and purposes, he _is_ going into a battle. He boosts his confidence and is so sure he is prepared for round two. That is, right up until the moment Akihiko opens his door, shirt off, boxing gloves on, already glistening with the slightest sheen of sweat. 

       Akihiko has gone pro at this, clearly. Any thoughts Shinji has are lost at the very sight of him. He must be staring. He coughs and Akihiko is wearing a smirk as he steps aside to let Shinji in. This is a horrible idea, but it's too late to back out now.

       Shinji takes off his coat and hat, but his turtleneck stays on, not quite able to commit as much as Akihiko has. He’s just shifting into position when a fist jabs at him. He dodges to the side just in time to feel the rush of air next to his cheek and jumps back.

       “That was cheap!" Shinji growls.

       "What? You expecting a polite invitation into a fist fight?" Akihiko asks, the light smirk never leaving his lips.

       “Don’t you dare go easy on me.” Shinji demands, falling into a more ready stance, the grin contagious.

       “Are you sure? I don’t want to wear you out too much. What would we tell our leader?” comes the teasing reply.

       “Tch, like I care,” Shinji scoffs, brandishing his fists. That is all the invitation Akihiko needs.

        It’s been a long time since he's felt this carefree during a fight. It feels _good_ and not just in the typical adrenaline rush sort of way. He’s definitely happier than he has any right to be about Akihiko’s fists coming at him. Here he is, trying his best to focus on blocking Akihiko’s hits, and suppressing the urge to grin like an idiot. Yet, he barely cares about the conflicting feelings. That's the nice thing about a fight; no time to think, there's only time to react.

       Akihiko gets him with a left hook to the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Shinji stumbles backwards onto Akihiko’s bed. Akihiko doesn't hesitate for a second and takes the opportunity to climb on top of him and pin him down. Suddenly, the situation is way too much like certain things Shinji has imagined. Akihiko is looking down at him, breathing heavily, while Shinji stares up in vague bewilderment. For a second, Shinji wonders if he was actually knocked out at some point and now he’s fallen right back into his dream from earlier.

       Akihiko looks like he’s expecting _something_ , so Shinji does the first thing he can think of, the only thing that can get him out of this situation before it has the opportunity to go any further. He shoves him hard. Akihiko goes reeling back off the bed stumbling a bit, but finds his footing with admirable ease. He smirks, then charges back at Shinji. Shinji shoves himself up off the bed quickly and grips him by the shoulders, overtaking him with sheer brawn. He pushes him into the wall. Akihiko reaches his arms around him in a way that’s altogether too gentle for a sparring session, and leans his all his weight into him.

       “What the hell kind of move is that?” Shinji's voice comes out in an irritated puff, as he struggles to catch his breath.

       “Gotta keep you on your toes,” Akihiko says, smirking, his voicing taking on that low tone that it always does during battles. 

       “What?” By the time the words pass out of his mouth it was too late. Shinji isn’t sure how he ended up on the floor, or how Akihiko keeps pinning him down when he ought to have the upper hand. His head hurts, and Akihiko’s got his whole weight pressing down on his midsection. Enough is enough. He flips them over.

       “So, that’s how you want it, huh?” Akihiko quips. He quirks an eyebrow, and that damned permanent bandage shifts teasingly with it.

       Shinji becomes very aware of Akihiko’s flushed, bare skin. But he’s not gonna lose. Not this time.

       “Yeah, Aki, I got you right where I want you,” he teases, voice mimicking Akihiko’s tone. Judging by the look in Akihiko’s eyes, that only served to spur him on. Shinji isn’t sure _how_ to win in this situation. With no idea how else to proceed, he taunts further,“You just gonna lie there and take it?”

       “‘Course not,” Akihiko says, smirking like that’s the best thing he’s heard all night. He presses his palms into Shinji’s chest, trying to push him off, but Shinji’s got him locked in place. He wraps a leg around Shinji’s waist, trying to throw him off balance, but all he really succeeds in doing is rubbing himself against Shinji’s midsection.

       “That all you got?” The stupid grin he's been holding back the whole match sneaks onto his mouth, and he doesn't even care. He's got Akihiko shifting under him to no avail and pins his hands again. Akihiko's left franticly trying to shove Shinji off with only his hips.

       “Damnit, Shinji,” he groans, hardly sounding angry.

       There’s a knock on the door. They both freeze.

       “Guys, can you keep it down? _Some_ of us are trying to get some sleep for once.”

        Why is it _always_ Junpei? The voice breaks the sweaty little dreamy bubble that's been keeping Shinji from actually thinking about what was happening. He slowly releases his grip on Akihiko, sitting himself up.

       “…We should probably call it a night,” he suggests, slowly, almost reluctantly.

       “If…that’s what you want,” Akihiko says, leaning back to rest his weight on his elbows, legs spread wantonly still after Shinji has scooted back and away, “Or you could stay a bit longer, if you want. As long as you’re quiet.”

        Shinji stares. Akihiko looks composed, even _eager_ , despite the obvious flush of his skin, the mussed state of his clothes, his fucking spread legs. Whatever game they're playing, Shinji feels thoroughly outclassed. There’s no victory for him tonight.

       “Nah, I’m gonna get some sleep,” Shinji concedes, shrugging.

 


	28. Cooking Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can you just like...show my hand how to do this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 1st, Evening

       “You should learn to cook,” Shinji says, eying Akihiko’s instant noodles.

       “If your so concerned about my eating habits, I’ll gladly eat whatever you cook for me,” Akihiko assures him, tilting his head back to give a cheeky smile over at Shinji, who frowns.

       “Tch, yeah right,” He grunts.

       “Come on, I know you make food for Koromaru. That’s unfair, Shinji,” Akihiko pouts, or fake pouts, the smirk in his eyes is clear.

       “How did you—”Shinji gets halfway through his sentence before he realizes. Of course…there’s no getting things past Aigis, is there?

       “Look, I’ll teach you a life skill, that’s better than one meal, right?” Shinji reasons.

       “Teach a man to fish, is it?” Akihiko shrugs, slurping up the last of the cheap instant noodles and standing up.

       “Sure,” Shinji replies.

       Shinji already regrets his decision by the time they reach the dorm’s kitchen, but it’s too late to take back the offer now. Besides, this is for Akihiko’s own good, he reminds himself. Shinji glances around and grabs up his apron. He doesn’t usually bother with it unless he is cooking something particularly messy, but Akihiko is a newbie and he won’t be responsible for his school clothes being ruined.

       “Here,” he says, tossing it at Akihiko.

       “Don’t you need one?” Akihiko asks as he ties on the apron. 

       “Unlike you, I _know_ how to cook,” he assures, watching Akihiko’s fingers fumble on the tie. He sighs and walks over, turning him around with a firm hand on his shoulders and ties the thing into a perfect little bow. He ignores his momentary flashback to retying Akihiko’s tie in the morning, and how comfortable it felt to send him off like that…

       He shakes his head and steps away to pull out supplies, but there’s a problem here he can’t quite escape. Akihiko looks _way_ too good in Shinji’s apron. It’s downright unreasonable. Even more unreasonable, however, is Akihiko’s complete ineptitude when it comes to, well, everything involved in cooking. Luckily, Akihiko’s incompetant fumbling is enough to distract Shinji from any unwelcome apron-themed fantasies—for the time being, at least.

       Akihiko manages to get eggshells in the bowl every time he cracks an eggs, though he is getting very good at picking the little pieces out after the initial failure. The walking disaster can’t even boil water right, letting it bubble over and standing there dumbly as Shinji leaps forward and has to shut the burner off. He really can’t do anything.

       “How do I spread the oil on the pan?” Akihiko asks tentatively, “With the spatula, or…?”At least he asks before just jumping into it this time. Shinji’s relieved that he might be able to avert at least one culinary disaster, so he doesn’t bother trying to analyze that _look_ Akihiko is giving him.

       “Here, you can just do it like this,” Shinji cuts in, reaching around and giving the pan a few deft shakes to expertly spread the oil. He belatedly realizes that Akihiko’s hand is still on the handle, and he’s effectively just grabbed Akihiko’s hand. He lets go like he’s just been burned. By all means, he should really be beyond getting flustered for ridiculous reasons like this, but that touch felt so _natural_. Shinji’s almost startled by how easy it is to cross that boundary—he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Akihiko looks at him curiously, apparently not noticing anything weird about the motion.

       It keeps happening, too—Shinji just stepping up behind Akihiko and grabbing his hand rather than giving verbal directions. He’s not sure _why_ that’s his instinctive response, but he finds himself doing it again when Akihiko is doing some absolutely horrendous knife work.

       “Have you never held a knife before?” Shinji accuses, glaring at the uneven cuts as if they personally offend him.

       “Uh, well I kind of punch things more than stab them so…” Akihiko’s smart ass response wins him rolled eyes.

       “It’s still sad,” Shinji sighs.

       “Please, show me how it’s done then, _sempai_ ,” Akihiko teases lightly, with an expectant look like he _really_ wants that to fluster Shinji.

       “Tch,” is all the response Shinji offers as he steps up behind him. Again, rather than just taking the knife, his fingers curl around Akihiko’s and he guides both their hands through the short, swift, and even cuts. God, his hand is small compared to his, Shinji notes. Not that he didn’t already know that, but he’s never gotten an opportunity to compare them so…directly before.His other hand reaches over to curl Akihiko’s fingers back to keep them from being chopped clean off as the knife moves down. However, this suddenly puts Shinji’s chest flush up against Akihiko’s back. His arms are practically wrapped around Akihiko and his heart stops along with his fingers. He almost jerks away, but no, no that would acknowledge how weird this situation is. Better to play it cool…

       Shinji slowly pulls his arm back and carefully slides the cutting board to the side with himself. He clears his throat when he’s sure that he’s no longer in immediate danger of accidentally spooning Akihiko in the kitchen. 

       “It’s not hard, but you want even cuts,” he assures him, trying to keep his voice calm. His hands move on instinct, still feeling flustered and searchingfor things to say to distract from their closeness a moment ago . He loses himself in culinary rambling, hoping it’s enough to dissipate the awkward feelings, and doesn’t realize what his hands are doing until he notices Akihiko’s stare. Looking down, he realizes he’s been making rosette cuts.

       He flushes and stops, only managing to fluster himself further. “Uh… well you don’t need to do anything that fancy,” he fumbles, setting back to regular cuts.

       “I sure as hell hope not,” Akihiko says with a chuckle. Shinji tries to laugh as well, and he hopes it doesn’t sound strained.

        “Okay, now how do I do that flipping technique you used earlier?” Akihiko asks some minutes later. He still can’t seem able to figure anything out on his own. Well, at least he gets points for effort—his enthusiasm for the subject is anything but lacking.

       “That one’s a bit trickier,” Shinji explains, “You’ll just have to practice a bit before you get the hang of it.”

       “Like training?” Akihiko asks eagerly.

       “Yeah, like training,” Shinji laughs. Leave it to Akihiko to somehow relate _everything_ to training.

       “So…can you show me how to do it? I wanna get a feel for it. Muscle memory and everything,” he explains. It sounds ridiculous, but that certainly follows Akihiko’s muscle-headedlogic.

       “Right. Sure,” Shinji says reluctantly and pauses, staring at Akihiko’s fingers gingerly curled around the pan handle. It can’t be weird if he’s asking him to hold his hand again…right? No, no, of course not. Akihiko’s just really inept when it comes to cooking. Without Shinji’s guidance, he wasn’t even able to so much as crack an egg. Shinji had better give him all the help he can.

       He reaches around from behind Akihiko, close enough to lean into him a bit—in order to get proper leverage of course, not because he liked the way their shoulders pressed together, or the feeling of his hand under his own. This is all for the sake of cooking, Shinji assures himself. He grips the pan handle and Akihiko’s hand along with it. Before he realizes it, his other hand is resting casually on Akihiko’s hip, and Shinji has no earthly idea how or when it got there.

       Miraculously, Shinji is able to walk Akihiko through the process of cooking an entire meal, despite Akihiko’s ineptitude, and their…proximity issues. Still, something is off about the way Akihiko is acting.

       “Aki…why are you using your right hand?” Shinji blurts, giving him a slightly glare.

       “Hm? Oh…that’s the way you were doing it,” Akihiko replies innocently. The way he blinks, slowly and deliberately, is enough to raise Shinji’s suspicions, though.

       “You’re left handed,” Shinji reminds him dully.

       “…Yeah.” Akihiko agrees, unfazed.

       “Tch. No wonder you can’t do shit. You don’t need to copy me exactly, idiot. Just use your left hand.” Shinji 

       “Yeah. I’ll try that,” he says with a bit of a smile and Shinji narrows his eyes.

       Akihiko may be thickheaded at times, but Shinji still has trouble believing he would genuinely make the mistake of using his right hand. It’s hard to think of a reason for him to intentionally fail at cooking, though. Maybe he’s just trying to trick Shinji into cooking him more meals? Shinji sighs and gives up on figuring Akihiko out for the time being. The food is ready anyway. He puts together two plates and offers one to Akihiko, who smiles and follows him out to the dining room.

       The meal is a bit patched together,having been chosen to give Akihiko a well-rounded lesson, rather than a well-rounded meal. Akihiko certainly doesn’t look like he minds, at least. He actually seems to be savoring his food instead of inhaling it like he normally would. Shinji doesn’t even realize he’s been staring until Akihiko glances up at him and smiles around his mouthful. His heart is doing some sort of ridiculous gymnastics in his chest, but even so, this is…nice. Peaceful, even. They’re not speaking much, but still, the company is enjoyable. As much as Shinji wanted to avoid this particular situation, right now he wishes he’d done it sooner. Maybe he should sit down and have meals with Akihiko more often. Maybe he should even cook for him again, without any pretense.

       Shinji’s chopsticks are stuck in his mouth and he’s frozen at the thought. It’s not just eating together; it doesn’t matter if they’re shopping, or fighting, or sleeping, everything feels more complete with Akihiko by his side. This much isn’t just a ‘maybe’ in Shinji’s head. His stomach lurches, and suddenly he’s not sure if he’s hungry anymore. The last thing he wants right now is Akihiko asking him what’s wrong, so he forces himself to keep eating anyway. What would he even say if Akihiko pressed him for an answer? It’s better that they just continue eating, enjoying their companionable silence.

 


	29. terminal gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> am I gonna keep getting gayer indefinitely, or will I eventually reach terminal gay and stop accelerating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 2nd, Night/Dark Hour

        Shinji spends the better part of the day going over the events of the past month in his head. His mind is busy replaying every touch, every smile, every embarrassingly domestic moment, and Shinji can’t will it to stop. He wonders what would have happened if he had just taken Akihiko’s hand the first time it occurred to him, and then curses himself for even having that thought. 

        “Tch…I don’t have time for this shit,” Shinji mutters to himself. If only his suppressants worked on his emotions too, this might be easier. Akihiko’s recent behavior is too much for Shinji to deal with. Besides, there are too many other things, way more important things to worry about—the upcoming full moon, defeating the shadows, controlling his Persona…looking after Ken. _Shit_.

        Even if Akihiko does—completely hypothetically, of course—even if he _does_ have some kind of…feelings…for Shinji, well? What should he even do about it? He imagines giving in, taking Akihiko into his arms like he’s wanted, sharing meals, laughing and smiling together…and he wants all of it. But that’s not what he deserves. He’s not the kind of person that gets to have that kind of reality. Besides, Shinji knows what the suppressants are doing to him. He doesn’t like to think about how Akihiko will react when he finds out just how badly they’re affecting him. Adding any kind of…romantic feelings would only make things worse. There’s no way this can end well, and if he could just ignore it, he would, but it doesn’t seem like that’s an option anymore.

        Shinji winces. He doesn’t want to hurt Akihiko by rejecting him, but ultimately, accepting his feelings would end up hurting him even more. At least there’s still the chance that this is all some sort of misunderstanding, and he’s going to hold on to that possibility for as long as possible. Even if it means giving Akihiko the cold shoulder for awhile.

        He makes a point avoiding Akihiko in the common room that night. When Akihiko tries talking to him, Shinji has a convenient coughing fit to avoid conversation. Eventually, just being within sigh is too unbearable, and he quietly sneaks back to his room. Leave it to Akihiko to come knocking on his door anyway. He ignores it.

        "Shinji,” Akihiko calls quietly. He pauses, waiting for Shinji to answer. Getting only silence, he continues, “We’re going to Tartarus tonight. If you’re up for it…you know the drill.” He leaves. Shinji sighs. He considers the option of not going at all, but he can’t let his feelings interfere, not with this. Maybe he can tell their leader he’s not feeling well and get out of fighting. Like that’s any less fucking lame.

        Shinji really shouldn’t be surprised when Akihiko gives their leader the same damn excuse. Now he’s stuck waiting outside the entrance to Tartarus with no way of hiding from Akihiko.

        “You too, huh?” Akihiko says wearily. Shinji pointedly ignores him, but Akihiko continues talking anyway. “Can’t say I blame you, it’s been a long month.” He pauses.

        “Well, at least we’re still here for back-up if they need us,” Akihiko assures him with a pat on the shoulder. Shinji bristles at the touch, and Akihiko hesitantly pulls his hand away.

        “Our leader must have some kind of sadistic streak to put Junpei and Takeba on a team together,” Akihiko tries after a few minutes.

        “Hmph,” Shinji grunts, not wanting to involve himself in any sort of conversation, but Akihiko is staring at him, waiting for a response.

        “Or it’s some sort of personal masochism,” Akihiko continues, looking thoughtful.

        Shinji genuinely has nothing to say to that.

        “I wonder if it’s really just a tactic to get them to cooperate better,” He offers.

        “…” Shinji stares at his shoes, at the walls, at the swirling patterns in the darkness that might just be in his head for all he knows.

        “What do you think of that, Shinji?” Akihiko prods.

        “…” Shinji stares at Fuuka, who is busy focusing on monitoring the team; at the ominous gates of Tartarus, which he’s grown way too accustomed to; at Ken-kun, who is petting Koro-chan impatiently, looking solemn.

        “Shinji?” Akihiko repeats.

        “What?” Shinji snaps.

        “I…was just asking what you think,” Akihiko says, frowning.

        “I couldn’t care less okay?” Shinji shouts, temper getting the best of him, “In case you didn’t notice, I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

        “If there’s…something going on with you…you know you can talk to me about it, right?” Akihiko says in voice that’s way too soft, and with a hand that really should not be on Shinji’s elbow.

        “…”

        “I’ll help you in any way I can, if you’d just let me…” Akihiko insists, and his eyes are just too pretty and leaning in closer is definitely a mistake.

        “There’s no helping me Aki,” Shinji blurts, but instantly regrets it when he sees the hurt expression on Akihiko’s face. “Don’t look at me like that…I already told you not to worry about me.” His expression turns to one of anger.

        “I’m going to keep worrying, no matter what you say,” Akihiko shouts, “Don’t pretend like you don’t feel the same way.”

        “W-what?” Shinji stammers, the accusation catching him off guard.

        “I see the way you fuss over everyone in the dorm,” Akihiko says with a little smirk, apparently pleased to get some response from Shinji, “You’re the biggest worrywart out of all of us.” Oh. That’s what he meant.

        “Tch,” Shinji scoffs, looking away.

        “They all appreciate it, you know.” 

        “…”

        “ _I_ appreciate it,” he says, a bit softer. Shinji fights back the fluttery sensation in his chest, because certainly he did not mean that the way it sounded. It’s just Akihiko’s stupid sentimentality, right? But when Shinji looks over, Akihiko’s fidgeting in that awkward, impatient way of his, and he’s worrying his lip between his teeth. 

        “Aki…” Shinji says, voice catching in his throat. This is it. He’s going to get some answers out of Akihiko once and for all. Akihiko looks up to meet Shinji’s gaze, and shifts just a little bit closer. He clutches at the sleeve of Shinji’s coat, and Shinji swears his hand is trembling. Unless Shinji is the one trembling.

        “Shinji…” Akihiko starts, his voice low and serious. Shinji nods, urging him to continue. Akihiko continues fidgeting nervously, so Shinji puts a firm hand on his shoulder, _begging_ him for an explanation.

        “Woo! I am _beat!_ ” fucking Junpei yells, stumbling out of the gates of Tartarus. The two of them jolt apart instinctively. A few seconds later, the rest of the team files out, looking thoroughly exhausted. It must be time to call it a night.


	30. All Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 3rd, Night

       Tomorrow night, the moon will be full again. Their leader has decided the team should just rest today, to ensure that everyone is at full strength for the next operation. As if resting would ever sit well with Shinji. With so many thoughts weighing heavy in his mind, going to bed seems like a futile effort. So, once again, he finds himself wandering up to the roof instead of sleeping. The harsh light of the waxing moon greets him, almost bright enough to blind him. And there beneath is is Akihiko, looking just as bright. It hardly surprised Shinji to see him standing there. In fact, maybe he expected it. Maybe wanting to to see him is what brought him to the roof in the first place.

       “You in a better mood tonight?” Akihiko asks, just barely turning to look over his shoulder. His tone is solemn, like he already knows the answer, but still needs to ask.

       “Hardly,” Shinji mutters grimly, but he walks over to join Akihiko anyway.

       “That’s fine. We don’t have to talk or anything,” Akihiko says softly, “But…if you want to, then I’m all ears.”

       Shinji takes a deep breath. This can’t go on any longer. All of the tension that’s been building for the past month is driving him out of his mind, and he has more important things to worry about. He _has to know_. There’s no way he’s leaving this roof until he has some answers. He steels his resolve and shifts just slightly closer to Akihiko.

       “Aki…” Shinji says, willing his voice to hold steady, “I’ve been wondering about something for awhile.” Akihiko pauses for a few seconds before responding, and Shinji already regrets letting the words out of his mouth.

       “What is it?” Akihiko asks, voice low and serious. He’s looking Shinji straight in the eye, and suddenly, Shinji doesn’t feel nearly as brave as he thought he was. Maybe if he just looks somewhere else, he’ll be able to form some kind of acceptable reply.

       “…Your eyebrow,” Shinji says lamely. Well, there are worse things he could have said. Like the truth, probably.

       “Oh…this?” Akihiko gestures to the ever present bandage on his forehead, “What about it?”

       “It’s been there a damn long time…Is there really a cut there, or are you just trying to look cool?” Shinji teases.

       “Hey, we’ve all got some wounds that never heal, right?” Akihiko says blithely. It’s just a joke, but the truth of it still stings a little bit—enough that Shinji doesn’t notice that Akihiko just completely avoided answering his question. 

       “What, do you need someone to kiss it and make it better?” Shinji retorts, because he still hasn’t learned his lesson from the cuddling joke incident, apparently.

       “Yeah, I do,” Akihiko replies quickly, his words sounding like a challenge. Shinji doesn’t miss the way Akihiko left out the “maybe” this time. He doesn’t miss the little smirk or Akihiko’s irritating bravado, either. Does Akihiko think he can just say whatever he wants without any consequences? Or does he _want_ the consequences? Shinji is seriously regretting not trying to get an answer when he had the chance, because this is so much worse. Now he’s got Akihiko staring up at him, asking for a kiss, and no idea if it’s supposed to _mean_ something. There’s only one way to find out, and he might as well resolve _something_ tonight.

       “Fine,” Shinji growls, yanking Akihiko’s head forward with sudden determination.

       “Huh?” Akihiko jerks back in confusion, but it’s too late. Shinji’s planted his lips right on that damn perpetual band aid. Akihiko just gapes at him, mouth moving, but unable to form words. Despite his anxiety, Shinji actually feels _giddy_. Finally after all the weeks of Akihiko’s weird comments, needless touching, and moments where he definitely did _not_ need to be half naked, Shinji finally has the upper hand. Akihiko is finally flustered and speechless, and Shinji is the one grinning like an idiot. It’s still not enough, he needs to solidify his victory. 

       His hands are gripping Akihiko’s collar before he can even think to stop himself, and Akihiko’s back is pressed flush against the wall. He leans in, reveling in the widening of Akihiko’s eyes as their lips crash brutally together. Nothing, not even his dreams could have prepared him for the reality of Akihiko’s lips on his. They're even softer than they look, so warm they almost burn, and _real._

       But he needs to stop, before he lets himself think this is more than just some stupid game. So he pulls away, about to make some teasing comment. Except Akihiko is staring at him, looking on the verge of tears. _Shit_. Was that too much? Did he cross a line just then. Akihiko’s not the type to be upset if he just thought it was weird or gross. He _is_ the sentimental type though, Shinji realizes, maybe he wanted his first kiss to be special and Shinji just ruined it. Or worse, maybe he was saving it for someone and Shinji just _stole_ it.

       Shinji’s at a loss, not sure whether to brush it off as a joke or apologize. Akihiko chokes out a laugh, blinking slowly, and the most sincerely satisfied grin tugs over his lips.

       “I’ve been waiting for this.”

       Shinji just stares blankly as he tries to process that sentence.

       “You…” he sputters, breathless and bewildered, “You _what?_ For how long?”

       “Too long,” Akihiko breathes, cupping Shinji’s chin with his gloved hands. Shinji’s lips can’t be on his fast enough.

       But there’s still that nagging, aching feeling in his gut that won’t go away.

       “Listen…” Shinji says, pulling away, “Are you _sure_ about this?”

       “What do you mean?” Akihiko asks impatiently, nuzzling into Shinji’s neck.

       “Shouldn’t you be enjoying you life…like with a cute girl or something?”

       “No!” Akihiko shouts, unable to control his volume, “I want to enjoy my life with _you_ , Shinji. I won’t regret this, I know that for sure. I…well…what about you?”

       Shinji pauses as something twists inside him. He takes a deep breath, swallows it down.

       “Alright. Let’s do this.”

       Akihiko doesn’t miss a beat. He brings their lips together again instantly, and all Shinji can do is hold on to him, trying to keep himself from shaking. This is _real_ , and any remaining doubt is extinguished by Akihiko’s soft little frantic kisses. Shinji tries to kiss back, but it’s a struggle to keep up with him. It’s enough just to feel Akihiko’s feverish warmth and racing pulse, as he breathes desperate, labored breaths against his mouth. So Shinji relents, letting Akihiko express all of his pent up emotions, and accepts them all.

       “Hey, I’m getting kind of tired,” Akihiko says, resting his head on Shinji’s shoulder, “I think I’ll take you up on that offer now.”

       “What offer?” Shinji asks, so incredibly uninterested in words.

       “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten,” Akihiko chides, squeezing Shinji a little bit tighter. And then Shinji remembers the dumb joke that started all of this. Akihiko is asking him to _cuddle_ with him, and it’s not a joke this time.

       “Oh, right…” Shinji can’t even imagine arguing anymore. “Should I grab an extra pillow from my bed, then?”

       Akihiko pauses for a moment before a smile slowly lights up his whole face, and Shinji blushes so hard he has to look away. That pillow is _staying_ in Akihiko’s room, Shinji decides, as Akihiko gently laces their fingers together and leads them back into the dorm. Honestly, he doesn’t even care if Junpei or anyone else sees.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost done with this fic! Thanks everyone for sticking with us for 30 chapters, and for all of your comments! We truly appreciate each one! Be back for more tomorrow.


	31. That night, no one spoke a word.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 4th, Morning

       “Shinji.”

       Shinji feels a warm puff of air against his ear.

       “Mmph,” he grumbles, rolling over to bury his face in his pillow.

       “Shinji…” Akihiko repeats, the crappy dorm mattress shaking beneath him as he scoots closer. He nudges Shinji in the shoulder, gently at first, but then more insistently. Apparently he _won’t_ be getting back to sleep. He channels all his energy into sitting up, and looks at Akihiko with half blurry eyes.

       “What?” He rasps. This had better be important. Akihiko just _smiles_ and all of Shinji’s morning grumpiness fades away, because Akihiko is sitting in his bed and he looks so happy to be there. And when Shinji smiles back, Akihiko suddenly flushes completely red. He’s just staring, as if he’s completely forgotten why he’d woken Shinji up in the first place. Shinji is surprised for a moment that he’s able to have this effect on Akihiko, since he got so used to it being the other way around. Shinji just wants to stare back, but Akihiko was trying to tell him something, right? After a few long seconds, Shinji prompts him, “Well?”

       Akihiko’s fading blush returns with a vengeance, but he’s smirking now, like he’s got a great goddamn secret. “Never mind,” he says, slipping his arms around Shinji’s neck and leaning into him.

       Akihiko relaxes, letting his head rest against Shinji’s cheek, so that his mouth moves against Shinji’s skin when he whispers, “I love you.” Shinji almost feels the words more than he hears them.

       “H-hey, stop talking like that, or I won’t want to get out of bed,” Shinji complains, half-teasingly, and entirely glad that Akihiko is still comfortable nestled against his shoulder, unable to see the blush that has overtaken Shinji’s face.

       “You never wanna get out of bed,” Akihiko retorts, trying to pull Shinji closer, even though he’s practically sitting on his lap already, “Anyway, that’s fine, isn’t it? There’s no school today.” But Shinji sighs, and very slowly pushes Akihiko off of him.

       “It’s not fine,” he says, wobbling a bit as he stands up, and makes a great show of stretching his arms over his head, “We’ve got that big ass shadow to fight tonight, don’t we?” Akihiko pouts, but slides himself out of bed anyway.

       “Well then, we’ll just have to hurry up and kick its ass so we can go back to bed,” Akihiko declares, standing with his hands proudly on his hips.

       “Alright, you got yourself a deal,” Shinji says, letting his arms drop from his stretch toswoop around Akihiko’s waist, pulling him in. Akihiko’s hands are pinned uselessly between them, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He just wiggles his fingers up to grab to front of Shinji’s turtleneck and tugs. That’s enough prompting for Shinji to dip his head down and meet Akihiko’s expectant lips. Akihiko makes an impatient little noise every time Shinji gives any indication of pulling away. _So needy_. He glances at the clock. It’s far too early to be out of bed, Shinji decides, pulling Akihiko down with him. The bedsprings give a welcoming little squeak.

       “H-hey, I thought we were getting up,” Akihiko protests, but the grin on his face is anything but disappointed. Shinji makes a noncommittal grunt and tangles their limbs together in response. Akihiko accepts the decision with a flurry of overeager lips. They settle, eventually, perfectly content just holding each other in a warm, sleepy haze.

       “Me too,” Shinji says, the words just floating out of him.

       “Hm?” Akihiko questions, propping his head up and looking at Shinji with an impish little smile. Everything about that expression, and the way he gingerly squeezes Shinji’s hand says he _knows_ what Shinji is thinking already. If that could be enough, Shinji would just squeeze his hand back and leave it at that, but Akihiko’s blush is back, and he’s biting his bottom lip impatiently. And Shinji’s not quite as bold or shameless as Akihiko, not today at least, but he is so incredibly in love. So he answers.

       “I’ve been waiting for this.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you all for reading and joining us in our feels (;_;)
> 
> We're already working on our next fic, which is going to be an AU and probably really filthy, so keep an eye out for that. It involves prostitute!Shinji and businessman!Akihiko and just about every great and trashy fic trope we could think of. Ikutsuki is a pimp. What more could you want? \\('w'*)/


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